Affirmation
of
Addiction
A Collection of Poetry
By
Alice Shantel Saunders
.
© 2011 Alice Shantel Saunders
Dedication
To my family and friends who’ve never ceased in their prayers and support towards my dreams
Part-Time Husband ~ Retired Mechanic
You indulge my sins
You are my sin
My one erotic vice whom
Pampers my addiction
In a slow and rhythmic fashion
You penetrate my world
And amplify my dreams
Bringing them into reality
As our sweat fuses together
Our moisture covered bodies
Tangled as a solitary element
Delving into the abyss
That is our love
Deeper and deeper until
Until …
…
An Abundance of reverence
Insatiable yearnings
Driven by a greed
Pushed by a lust
Neither of us ready to
Deal with Deficiency’s wrath
When we secede
When we luxuriate in the pulsations
Satisfaction evades us as
We thrive on
An immeasurable sequence
An addiction I welcome
A sin I savor
Adrift in sensations
Left apart from normalcy
Beautiful consequences
Lay indulgent upon our desires
As we partake in one another
Sober
A steady decline into awareness
An unwelcomed feeling
Surmounting to nostalgia
Disassociation needs to occur
From this abstemious feeling
No longer enjoying this back and forth
Relationship with apprehension
Let me continue my affair
With inebriation
Where nights don’t
Feel like random nights in hell
Where burning is caused by
The same caress that also handles a stroke with finesse
Dependency
Has caused me to
Cast away the hat of mortification
And wear proudly the designation of
A chronic-induced passion
No longer willing to hide the cravings
Cloak me in the romance that leaves me thirsty and sodden at the same time
This reality is restrained
And my tolerance is low
Enjoyment is a loss I mourn
Where I drowned in the
Apex of our love
Yield to me my narcotic
So the dysphoria that lives within me will die
Stuck in this consciousness
Bring me back to the state that leaves me weak
That leaves me
Trembling
A pain so sweet
I’m left crying in celebration
From my affair
With inebriation
Hiding in this devious downpour
That overshadows the remains
Hoping no one can see these scars
Love – from inception - bared fractures
Maybe my psyche should micromanage my heart
Maybe then my lips wouldn’t be so disabled from need
When not on yours
Love in default
Payment on hiatus
Your touch is a deviant lure
That upsets the stability of serene desires within
Remembrance of touches linger
Like imprints in cement
Never fading but deepening the impressions in each passing
You’re the one sin I wouldn’t mind burning for
If it tastes like this
If it feels like this
If it moves me
Like this
You tempest, yes you are
Erotic shifts of your storms destabilize
And break down the partition that surrounds my heart
Hedging and escalating my lusts
A desire so sweet, it fluxuates between pleasure and pain
Fixated on moments before during and after
Suffering from heat waves
I’m left panting
Body quenching for more
When no longer a part of you
I’m a fragment
Struggling with myself
On how to ride out this wave of refutation
That sloshes in and asphyxiates
The hostilities of this reality are confounding
And no longer user-friendly
But forceful in their reign and in
Accepting their way
Lost below in the rapid waters of hesitation
Your love is like a floatation device
That pulls me to the surface
Afloat on your conviction
Your essence is my breath
Its no wonder my passion
Is faint without you
I love the way the swagger of your essence
Compels me
Enhancing my dreams through our romance
Wicked fantasies
Taunt me on random nights
Where moisture from the heat
Only dampens my desire
Let me lay and wallow in this
Euphoric state
Far from a faulty investment
You romance my fancies
Causing displayable motions that are
No longer reluctant
Come and cast your incantations that leave me
Helpless in your world
I am yours
Forever needing the end
Working for the middle
And loving the beginning
I need to soak this up
How can it be
That each time
Is as the initial
Yes I said it
Need I repeat?
Have I missed it
Is my love incarcerated within yours
If that the case and this our fate
Then we have reason for why
Our encounters rise to animalistic points
Both trapped within one another
Neither willing to let this dance with rapture end
Have I told you
How I love the one on one sessions
Between the beauty that is our love and the
Ferociousness surrounding our passion
The end result is something to behold
My head rests upon your chest and I’m spellbound
No longer looking for the breath you’ve seized
But appreciating the rhythm of your beat now entwined with mines
This reality is paramount as
This royal passion
Roots itself beyond my heart and into my core
Emotional Nourishment
Captivated by stylistic sensations
Your love is like a fierce caress of my desire
Causing a swelling effect from just one touch
Bringing reason why
I’m not leaking fervor
No
It’s pouring out of me
Cascading in a free fall
Like a fallen fruit that’s headed for rebirth
Our love is an exchange
Let’s meet at
The place between anticipation from kisses and
Moans from touches so strong our bodies have no choice but to arch in response
Susceptibility has taken root
From this emotional feeding that’s taken place
Neither of us can seem to lock hands with Contentment
Our grip is weak from precious strain and
Our hands wet with lust
The fierceness of our desire
I’m captivated by your love or rather what happens
When it coalesces with mines
The consequences are beautifully dynamic
Skin to skin
A joining so sweet it brings me to tears
Your passion is predator to my love that is prey
This constriction leaves me lightheaded
Searching for a higher level
My love, entwined with risk, is greedy and has only flirted with but never accepted the dance with capitulation