All The Wrong Places
By April J. Durham
Copyright 2012 April J. Durham
Smashwords Edition
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Table of Contents
some things can't be explained
poison
mixed with
cool water
impassioned by youth
sweat
and the salty sweetness
of kisses
driven by the
pure madness
of Virginity
apologies
for forwardness
embarrassment
for natural
wants
and desires
taboo
and forbidden
and tenderness
of deep sea eyes
staring into my soul
with a wistfulness
never known
since
roaring music drowning out thoughts as
sweat trickles down between heaving breasts
swaying in clouds of smoke and haze and ash
movement-
pulsing
beating
air heavy with whiskey and beer
breathe like turpentine lingering from
hot tongues on flaming flesh
intertwined
arms
legs
hands
mouths
bodies pressed together pounding out
the electric rhythm blazing
serpentine sex for hundreds of watchers
clinging
grappling
holding
begging the song to never end
the separation cold against the end note
slipping away breathless into the night
white towel-wrapped wetness
a whirl of motion
ENTER!
running late
she's running late
she twirls from the door
and beckons me to follow
she's fearless
tearless
she rambles
on
and
on
the day at work
the plans to go dancing
the weather making
her hair frizz
she drops the towel
and it barely
sits balanced
on those rounded hips
turned to face the
back wall of the closet
what am i here for?
is everything ok?
yes i lie
how do you say
i just needed to see you
to someone who has
never known what it means
to want to be seen
and doesn't know
your need exists
her laughter ripples in waves
wanna go dancing too?
he's going with her
no thanks
but i would for her
she pulls those
fitted black jeans on
and giggles
at the need to
jump into her jeans
black heeled boots
finish out the look
that would drop any man
even me
especially me
she grabs my hand
pulling me to the bathroom
she plugs in the hair dryer
never knowing how
comforting that sound is
throwing red hair towards the floor
shaking it lightly
fingers running through it
warm smell of shampoo
drifting towards me
standing in the doorway
mesmerized
lip gloss
then a touch of mascara
i can't look away
can't speak
she keeps rambling
she's never stopped
she could talk all night
if someone would listen
i want so badly to
be that someone
but i can't tell her
she's ready
moving to grab a coat
her bag
she digs in her purse
searching the abyss
for a cigarette
then a lighter
let's have a smoke
before i go
she says
so we do
usually
i can pull one
with three drags
tonight i take my time
she's quiet now
a little uncertain
she asks again
if i want to go
i'll pass
maybe another time
she smiles
that smile that
sears my soul
and i walk her to the car
knowing i want to say stay
knowing i want to say ME
knowing she may never know
how much i loved this
ever-painful night
watching her get ready
to leave me
all alone
at least she let me in
the
most magical
melodious sound
i've ever known
spontaneous and free
so innocent
so
spectacularly deep
and heartfelt
music
pure music
friday night at the bowling alley
a single red rose from
a really gorgeous guy
holding hands
laughing and loitering
the naivety of youth
making us stupid
driving back to that
seedy motel
rented by the week
and walking in to find you
you
laying on the bed
wearing a no fear t-shirt
dark denim jeans
and tivas
arms behind your head
propping up to watch tv
golden goatee
and crazy blond spikes
you turned to face me
one look
one smile
so seductive
so captivating
so tempting
i was smitten
suddenly the gorgeous
bearer of roses
failed to exist
all i saw was you
all i heard was you
and you were
quite content
to be my distraction
to have my attention
for me to fawn over you
and i did
for nearly two hours
i sat there propped
against that bed
talking to you
laughing with you
entraced by your
enthusiasm
i had never met someone
so alive
so wild
so fearless
so crazy
besides me
it had been so long
since a man didn't want
to jump straight to
my pants
and forget about my brain
you thrilled me
and the forgotten flower-bearer
stormed outside
obviously furious
at my new infatuation
but i didn't care
i wanted you
i needed you
i was going to have you
so as my best friend drug
me from the disastrous end
of our double date
i slipped you my number
and told you to call me
turning to
the giver of weeds with
spiraling steam from his ears
and sweat from his brow
i smiled and said good-night
and laughed at what i had found
no clue you would turn into
my cocaine
my heroine
my drug of choice
and that one day giving you up
would be worse than any detox
long
powerful
painful
and leaving me
with irreparable damage
but looking back
it was so worth the ride
some things can't be explained
some things can't be explained
they are beyond explanation
they transcend the natural laws
we so readily take for granted
they merge the separate particles of the universe
into something whole
something hopeful
something like love
some things can't be explained
they are beyond experience
they move us in directions we have never seen
they draw souls together in a fight
to find peace
something hopeful
something like love
some things can't be explained
we rack our brains looking for the why
we reason with the unreasonable
searching for the answer that
fits the paradigm we live in
something hopeful
something like love
some things can't be explained
we just feel them
hope them
love them
live them
been closed almost 30 minutes
and bustin’ ass to finish
you ask if we’re going to brew’s
of course- but just for one drink
you help me finish up
we leave together
but still alone
the parking lot at the bar is packed
hope it’s not karaoke
but I do love it when you sing
that one country song
that reminds you of my once-best friend
that you loved
or love
we change shirts and you escort me to the door
your hand resting lightly on my back
ushering me inside
possessing me without ownership
we stand at the bar
one blend and ginger
one jack and coke
one rumplemintz two ways
they go quickly
we have yet to really talk
you order another round
one blend and ginger
one jack and coke
no rumplemintz
your silent acknowledgement
of my self-imposed 2 drink max
that i rarely really use with you
i talk about work
ticket times
tips
you talk about morons
the waste of space most humans are