TRAGICOMICFUL
Wordplay Adventure Haikus
By
Stephen (the) H
Free Preview Edition
Copyright
©2012 by stephen h, All Rights Reserved.
Smashwords Edition
TABLE of CONTENTS
FOOD & CUPCAKES
stockpile flour and
sugar, we'll have cupcakes at
the apocalypse!
* * *
i call you cupcake
not because i love you, but
because i love cupcakes
* * *
cupcake oh cupcake
wherefore art thou cupcake? come
fill me with frosting
* * *
enemies advance
when all our defenses are
made of marshmallows
JEFF
sorry about that
if your iced tea tasted weird
jeff just peed in it
* * *
jeff's a funny guy
only person i know that
showers with clothes on
* * *
there we were, skiing
until jeff's fake leg fell off
what a complete douche
* * *
once you get past the
stolen underwear, jeff is
still weirdly green-skinned
LIFE & MISCELLANY
spider in my room
your fatal mistake: crawling
so near to my bed
* * *
so it seems many
talents are wasted on the
rich and beautiful
* * *
seriously, you
have like no idea how dumb
talking like this is
* * *
who is your favorite
animated character?
oh wait, i don't care.
SOCIETY & POLITICS
animals don't need
anyone to protest for
them to have gay rights
* * *
society would do
well to incorporate way
more flying monkeys
* * *
tax increases on
cute babies and puppies should
be considered first
LOVE & SEX
"that's someone's daughter,"
she says of the stripper. "god,
i hope so," i think.
* * *
she touches his thigh
unaware of what something
like that does to him
* * *
ticket prices have
become quite exorbitant
for aunt jo's striptease
* * *
do a little dance
make a little love, get down
'til you can't get up
THE SILLY & THE STUPID
not all the haikus
that i write are this silly
heh... diarrhea.
* * *
swimming in the sea
running through the evergreens
still getting rickrolled
* * *
on the day i die
i'll get straight to haunting the
fuck out of you jerks
* * *
not very often
do you see young businessmen
eat fresh baby meat
END OF THE WORLD
the power went out
and water ran dry too, now
no more slip-n-slide
* * *
the bomb has just dropped
and not in my underpants
it killed my sweetie
* * *
CNN reports
the plague finished us all off.
dessert was kittens
WAR, VIOLENCE & ENMITY
anyone have a
sword to loan me so i can
vanquish all my foes?
* * *
the hitman's walking
a revolver on his belt
his fly wide open
* * *
pick up the pistol
then flee down the alleyway
cut to the next scene
* * *
there goes my hero
watch him as he goes down, down
in a ball of fire
...nice going numbnuts
* * * * * * *
About the Author
Stephen h is an artist, thinker and designer based in Minneapolis, MN.
You can find out more about him online at me.stephenh.net and stephenh.org.