Words and other stuff
Copyright Gary Weston 2012
Smashwords Edition
Words and other stuff.
Onion!
I'm coming back to this world as an onion, complete with a natural tan.
I'd probably have more layers, than I have in this life as a man.
On supermarket shelves, I'd be prodded and squeezed,
by ladies, and that would make me most pleased.
Now, an onion has a very short life,
cut down in its prime by a very sharp knife.
But at least as an onion, when I die,
my passing will cause a woman to cry.
Words what I wrote!
I must confess, I'm a bit of a mess, when it comes to writing it down
I'm sure I mix up my prepositions with peculiar things like a noun.
My verbs fall off the end of the page and my articles are no better,
even though I try really hard to follow the rules to the letter.
I have nouns and adjectives all over the place,
My conjunctions I know are a complete disgrace,
What interrogative adverbs will pop out next?
Which relative pronouns, run wild in my text?
But I'll try putting one word in front of another,
and if I'm caught out, I'll just run for cover!
Elbows
It's a curious thing to contemplate,
but what would you do if your arms were straight?
You wouldn't be able to fasten your coat,
you wouldn't be able to row in a boat,
brushing your hair you could not do,
nor hold someone special, close to you.
So go cuddle your partner and say
thanks to Him for making arms that way.
Poem
I'm determined to write a poem tonight, if I can think of some words I can rhyme,
So I'll drink some more tea and then we'll see if this is my creative time.
But no, not a thing, not a phrase nor a line, jumps into my head,
sod this for a game of soldiers I say, right, I'm off to bed.
Hair today, gone tomorrow!
I was rummaging in my drawers last night
and gave myself one hell of a fright.
I found a photo of me, aged twenty one,
Where the hell has that young man gone?
With shiny white teeth and all that hair,
yes it's true what they say, life isn't fair!
Love her to bits
There's a girl that I know, with hair on her chin,
who sleeps eighteen hours every day.
She takes up all the bed and it has to be said,
has more than her share of duvet.
She thinks the world revolves around her,
which yes, it is true, I agree,
I love her to bits, so for now it's,
just my dog Minnie and me.
Women
A man looks at a woman, and says she'll do for me,
a woman sees a man and thinks, I'll change him, just you see!
And some of us need changing, of that I will agree,
when I find my woman; what changes will there be?
Older
When I was young, I thought I was cool,
Youth makes us do that, turns us into a fool.
Then as we get older, we realise,
it takes more than years, to make us wise.
It takes life's hard knocks and a lot of God's plan,
to turn some fool boy, into a man.
Poet
I know I'm a serious poet because,
I make every other line rhyme.
Some people I know, don't care for that,
But each to their own, so that's fine.
Don't
Don't talk to me about the way of the world and all that global warming.
I'm up to here with the doom and the gloom and I'm here to give you fair warning.
I'm sitting here and it's ten below, icicles hanging off my nose,
There's a hole in the roof and it's starting to snow, and I've frostbite on my toes.
So if the temperature rises a degree or three,
forgive me for saying so, but that suits me.
Fat?
I'm not keen on women, with no meat upon their frame,
a little more to grab hold of, should be their claim to fame.
Someone to cuddle up with, on a chilly night,
and roll our flab together, and hug each other really tight.
Mature
You can keep all those slim young ladies for sure,
there's nothing lovelier than a woman, more mature.
Those aren't wrinkles on your face that I see,
but all the love and years you've given to me.
Each line tells a tale of what we've been through,
and if the truth be told, I've more than a few.
We've seen tears and laughs with a few more due
but that's life, which I hope to share with you.
Dreams
I had a lot to dream last night,
profoundly meaningful, I know.
But now the early morning light,
has made my dreams all go.
Only Dreaming
I'm going to write a book one day
that will make me a load of money.
Then I could get a tyre for my van,
Now wouldn't that be funny?
DoMessticated
When I can't see the floor for all the flutter
and I've buried my table under the clutter,
and the ironing's piled right up to the ceiling,
and the smell from my fridge simply sends me reeling,
it's time to take a deep breath, but first close
the fridge door or put a peg on my nose.
It's time to roll up my sleeves and get stuck in,
collect all of the rubbish and fill the bin.
Find the polish, to make things shine again,
find rubber gloves and unblock that drain,
clean the windows, where the dogs left her snot,
sweep up those dead flies, into the plant pot.
Just thinking about it has exhausted me,
I'll do it tomorrow, honest, you'll see.
Sainthood
Who'd you give a sainthood to,
someone holier than thou?
Or someone full of good deeds,
I might just give them a bow.
There are many we could think of
deserving of that accolade,
the pious and the righteous ones,
for each a good case could be made,
but my vote goes to the one
who warms my bed at night.
The inventor of the electric blanket,
ooh, that's lovely, sleep tight.
Finding Time
I found some time just lying around
someone had lost what I had found
I looked about to see who could have lost
this precious thing, are they counting the cost?
To be so careless with a gift so rare,
they must have had so much to spare
far better for them to use it,
rather than to simply lose it.
Well, if they don't need it perhaps I should
help myself and put it to some good
I might save it for a rainy day, when
I'm running out, I'll use it then.
So I gather up this time and be thankful for my treasure
and think about my choices, shall it be used for pleasure?
But there are those who need this time far more than I
so I will share my time with others as time goes by.