Random Thoughts Of
An OutKast
(Poetry and Thoughts on Life)
Written By Timothy Besser ©
Illustrated By Jamie Elizabeth Ferral
Dedication
I’d like to dedicate this book to my family and my friends who pushed me to finish this and most of all my son
My Introduction
Let me first say when I started to write this book and put it together I didn’t know what to expect. I seem to have evolved as a person which is a good thing. I have become more aware of who I am and who I need to be. I am me and always will be me that’s a fact I live with. But inside parts of me can and will change just because it’s me evolving. I won’t stop it but embrace it for all it is worth. So don’t look at this as just a book of poetry and random thought but the growth of a person.
And while I wrote this to speak and show my view it’s only my view and my voice of my life. I am not saying in any way I know what’s right and what’s wrong I am just saying what I think is right and what is wrong in my mind. I love to write and I love to open others to other views of the world and that’s all I am trying to do with this take it as you will. I just don’t want you to think I am trying to force anything on any one.
Take what you want from this is all I say. Take that I am crazy and have crazy views of what life should be or that you simply relate to how I think. Just read with an open mind and heart and be able to appreciate one man’s view of the world as it is.
I wrote in this book poems and thoughts on so many subjects of life and just sometimes poems of how I felt at a time in life. So don’t think I’m perfect and that the life I lived is perfect. I have had my ups and downs in life along with everyone else and I would like to thank those who have always been there for me. And in doing so I have a few things left to say to everyone before you start reading.
I just want you to know that with writing this book I’ve opened my soul to the world. I see the dark and the light. I appreciate both and to have a good grip on life and an open view of the world. I put a lot of hard work into this and it is who I am.
I wrote this to hopefully open eyes of others. Help other find their voice in an otherwise already noisy world. So just let go of your hate and your criticism and just let everyone who wants to chase dreams to chase them.
I hope you enjoy reading everything I am. I hope it can help just to open your eyes. Open your eyes to so many more views of the world. I hope you feel what you need to feel and grow your own opinion about everything including this book. I don’t care what you think of me in the end. All I care is that you walk away from this book with something. And in those words enjoy. Enjoy reading a sporadic collection of my poetry and thoughts on many subjects.
Tomorrow’s Cry
I cry
for the world today
For
I see no tomorrow
The
kills
The
murders
Tear
apart this world
For
if we don't save it today
There
shall be no tomorrow
For
the things we do today
Effect
the days of tomorrow
For
if we kill today
There
shall be no tomorrow
And
if we stop killing the lives of today
And
stop hurting the planet of today
We
shall be here to stay
For
we need to take care of today
In
order to save tomorrow
For
the future of tomorrow
Is
in our hands today
And
for me
I
shall take care of what's in my hands
For
a world without a brighter tomorrow
Is
a world doomed to die
And
I shall fight
Till
I die
For
my future
Is
today
And
I ask thee
To
join me
To
save thee
And
to save tomorrow
Today
I Write Cause
I
write cause I feel
I
see the pain
I
see the hopes
I
see the wonders
For
if you close your eyes
And
open your soul
You
shall see
See
everything
The
wonders of life
The
pain of the human race
For
I write with my soul
For
my soul is alive
When
I write
For
I take in everything
And
put it in to beauty
The
pain
The
hopes
The
wonders
For
they are the truth of the world
And
I write the truth
The
truth of life
For
nothing is more greater
For
this I write
Limitations
To be what you want to be
To have
your dreams come to reality
It's possible
It can be done
All
you need to know
Is that the only limitation
Is the fear you
have for it to come real
Great
You look around
And wonder in your life
If this is it
If this is all that life has
For you
But the truth is
There is no plan in life
Cause choices everyday
Change everything
And it's not about making the right
Or wrong choices
It's just about making them
And making something great
Out of the life that was handed to you
And by something great
I don't mean something
The world will remember
But something that will change your life
And enrich it
For the better
So make the choices you think you need to make
And in the end you just might make
Something great
But you never know what life’s going to hand you
Just jump in
Head First
Cyber Trash Left Among A Super Info Highway
Your soul
lost in cyber space
Tossed
away like junk
Waiting
for someone just to talk to you
For
a brief moment
Then
back again
Lost
in yourself
In
cyber space
Your
mind gone
Your
body in front of a pc
And
your soul lost forever
Depending
on cyber space
As
you get lost in it every second you’re in it
Like
a piece of trash
Left
on the sides
Of
some super info highway
As
you cry out
Looking
for that one
To
save your soul
Lost
in cyber space
Forever
Tim’s Quotes
Friends are never lost
Just forgotten with time
Speak with no words
As
I walk the streets
I
stood alone
Alone
in a sea of faces
Everyone
around me
And
yet no one
As
I close my eyes
I
stop and listen
Listen
to the silent world
And
as I open my eyes
I
lay alone
In
my bed
I
sit and wonder
A
dream
Or
a reality
as
I lay in my bed
total
silence
quietness
So
powerful
So
misunderstood
As
I close my eyes
I
watch my fan go by
I
see nothing
Total
darkness
Then
I see nothing but white
I
realize where I am
In
a padded white room
Alone
and Quiet
The Angel Of My Life
No
words can express it
No
world can hold it
And
I am just amazed by it
My
love to you
It's
forever and undying
And
with all my heart
My
love goes out to you
Mind
and soul too
For
you are my everything
My
world
My
passion
My
love
My
desire
And
for this
I
love you so
And
hope you love me
And
as I hold you in my arms
Nothing
can compare
My
angel
For
every time we are near
You
put me in heaven with you
Up
to the stars
And
I shall never let anything
Happen
to you
For
you are my one true thing
The
angel of my life
Hold You Close
Every time you're not near
My heart aches
Every time you're away
My soul you take
Every time you're so far away
My arms wait
But every time you are here
I treasure so dear
Hold you close
To know your touch
Hold you close
To taste your lips
Hold you close
To hear our hearts beat as one
And hold you close
Till the end of time
In my mind
In my heart
In my soul
Just to hold you close
Look As It Is
Look
at the world
As
it is
Not
as it should be
Not
as it can be
Not
as it will be
For
the present
Is
the future
And
the path
Like
us
To
our future
For
you need to act today
To
make a change
To
tomorrow
Just
look at the world
As
it is
My Eternal Promise
I promise to always be there
No matter what
I promise to let you know how I feel
All the time
I promise to tell you I love you
Every single day
I promise to hold you close
Every time you’re next to me
I promise to hold you in my arms
When you’re too tired to walk
I promise to make you laugh
When you feel blue
I promise every time you cry
I’ll kiss away the tears
I promise to give you my shoulder
When you need one to learn on
I promise to always be there
When you feel so alone
I promise to make you feel loved
When you shut yourself out
I promise anything
And everything I can
To make you feel like the angel
You are to me
I promise you most of all
That I love you
And always will
Hold You High
I stand next to you
Wondering why you’re with me
I'm nothing special
I'm no one big
And you are just so amazing
In everything you do
I stand next to you
Trying to hold you high
As high as I can
Hoping you can touch the heavens
Where you belong
An angel in disguise
Trying to save me
Trying to teach me
And I'm just happy to be with you
I can't do enough
To show you how much I love you
To show how much I need you
And all I can do
Is hold you high
And let you kiss the sky
And swim with the stars
Where you belong
You are so heavenly to me
Bringing tears to my eyes
I just can’t believe it
My heart so full of love
My soul alive with the light of the world
And my mind is just lost
At why you’re with me
And all I can do
Is hold you close in my arms
And lift you to the heavens
And smile at everything you do for me
Change
For the first time in my life
I am following my heart
Thumping in head first
Without caution
And I am not afraid
And the reward seems so great
I've found what I have always been looking for
And I am happy about it
With a smile that will never end
And a heart full of love
It may be risky at first
But if I work at it
It will be my happy ending
To a life I tried to live fully
And all I needed
Was to make a little change
My Goodbye To You
As I
leave you now
I
sit and think
About
you
My
true friends
The
rough times
The
good times
The
best times
For
as I leave you now
I
will not forget you
For
you are a great friend
And
nothing will make me forget that
I
leave you now
On
the crossroads of life
I
hope the best for you
My
Friend
Thoughts On Possibility
Let me just say what a sad state people are in now. We tell kids anything and everything is possible when they are young then when they grow up we tell them nothing is possible. The truth is anything is possible and everything will be possible if you give it a chance. I hope that my son knows when he grows up not to listen to anyone that tells him he can't. Because the truth of life is he can and he will if he wishes.
We are so much better when we believe anything is possible then when we realize all the hard work and effort it takes to make it possible we simply back away and think it's impossible. We are taught to believe if you can't make it happen right away then it will never happen. A harsh lie that takes its toll on many people's spirits. I was taught that if you want something bad enough you can have it. But you will have to work your ass off for it. And in the end the reward for all your hard work will be great.
I still believe anything and everything is possible. I hope against all odds that my son never loses his childhood ambitions and chases them until they come true. You have to believe with all your heart and soul to make it possible. You have to be willing to work hard at it. You have to understand you might have to wait for it to come but if you wait it will come. Never settle for less than what you want. Never change your standards or dreams for anyone make people accept you for who you are not what they want you to be. Live your life not the life others want you to live. Have the dreams others won’t and make them the reality you want to have. Anything is possible and will be if you are willing to go after it. So go after it.
All I Can Do
I stand here
Heart and soul
Poured out on the table
Just for you
My love for you
Is everything I have
And I feel so passionate about it
It brings tears to my eyes
And all I can do is
Hold you high
Higher than everyone else
With my love and passion
That bleeds you
And you alone
I promise everything that I am
And ever will be
Will belong to you
For everything you do for me
And to me
I can do is
Hold you high
Higher than everyone else
To show them how proud I am
That every moment of my life
Will be spent with you
And that I found the one person
That I could completely love
And understand who I am
For this
I hold you high
Higher than the stars themselves
And above the heavens you put me in
To show everyone
How great you are
How great you will become
How much I love you
And that all I can do is
Love you
Broken Down
I want you here
In my arms
In my love
In my passion
But you’re away
And I am broken
Broken down
In tears
Waiting for the moments
The moments I can be with you
The moments you can kiss away my tears
And give me love back
And hold me close
Cause there is nothing like it in the world
When I'm in your arms
Listening to your heart beat next to mine
But when you’re gone
I'll be here in the shadows
Waiting
For you and your return
As I cry
Cause I'm broken
Broken down
Without you
Next to me
I feel so weak
So alone
But I know you will be back
Back in my arms
And then I will feel stronger
Stronger than before
More loved than anyone could believe
For our love is bright than the sun itself
Our passion is stronger than any force in nature
And for this I wait for your return
To my arms
As I sit here broken
Broken down
Tears streaming down my face
My soul alone
My heart aching for you
And just simply missing you
Why
Why do I keep wasting my time with you
Do I stay with you
Do I give you a love you don't appreciate
Do I give myself to you
To have you only toss me to the side
Why do I try to explain myself
When you will never understand me
Why do I keep giving you chances to fix things
When the very core of everything is lost
Why is my heart broken so
When you walk in
Why is my soul sad
When you tell me you love me
Why is my mind lost
When you try to talk to me
Why
Why am I doing this to myself
When I know that the one is out there
The one that can heal
Everything that’s in me
But I stay here with you
Why
Why am I afraid to leave you
Afraid to jump
Why am I still trying to make it work
When deep down I know
It was never meant to be
Why
Why am I still standing here
In your door way
When I could be out there
Free in every way
Walking the earth
Looking for the one
That completely gets me
For everything I am
I'm done asking why
Why
Cause I need to be free
To find the one
That can completely give themselves to me
As I would to them
The one where I will never question why
It will just be
Love
Thought On Friends
I've come to realize that I have picked the right friends in my life. I may not always keep in contact with them on a regular basis but they understand that. I may not always make time for them but they are willing to wait. I may call upon them when I need them. I know they will be there when I need them. I have learned a lot from them and they have learned a lot from me. I come to realize that my friends understand me all too well. They see inside me better than anyone. I am grateful for the friends I have. And they know who they are. I only hope others know what a friend is and who is a friend to them
I Need You (Song)
I look at you
And know I love you
And that I need you
Like I need air
Like I need water
Like I need food
I need you
I want you
I love you
I know it sounds crazy
And not possible
But the truth is
I never knew what I was living for
Till I met you
And now that your here
In my life
I can't see my life
Without you
(Chorus)
And I stand here
With your hand in mine
Looking forward
Into the future
And smiling at everything
Because you’re with me
Cause you’re a part of me
And I'm a part of you
And all I can say is
(Chorus)
And I look into your eyes
Seeing a love
That was meant for me
That craves me
And all I can do
Is give my all to you
Give everything that is me
To you
To be with you
To spend my life with you
To love you
To hold you
And all I can say is
(Chorus)
As I hold you close
Looking at what we have
And what will become of us
And all the good times
In between
As we smile at each other
Knowing no matter what comes our way
Our love is strong
Strong enough to stand anything
And everything
And all I can say is
(Chorus)
I need you
Chorus
(I need you
Like I need air
Like I need water
Like I need food
I need you
I want you
I love you)
Love Can Be
Life isn't endless
But love can be
Life isn't always happy
But love can deal
Life isn't perfect
But love can be
Love can be everything
And nothing
But the kind of love you find
Is what it is all about
If you can find that love
That you can share with one other person
And make life memorable
That’s love
It’s the love worth finding
If you search hard enough
And always keep your heart open
Leaving It All Behind
I’ve had a rough life
I lived closed
And cold hearted
And misunderstood
Until I found you
Standing in the doorway
Amazing me
Making me cry
Making me smile
Making me love
And I'll leave it all behind
To be with you
I've been lost
And walking alone
In the darkness
Only to have you come by
And shine your light on me
And help me see
See the path I need to walk on
To be with you
To love you
To please you
To be everything to you
I've been hiding from everything
And everyone
Most of all
Myself
But thanks to you
I'm leaving it all behind
To shine my light upon you
To shed my love on you
To hold you close
Forever
And ever
Always In My Arms
I love you
More than words can say
I need you
More that the world will ever know
I want you
More than I could imagine
And for that
I will hold you
Always in my arms
Forever
And when you’re not here
But you feel the warm sun
That’s me holding you
Always in my arms
And when the wind blows
That’s me kissing you
And when you feel my love
That’s me thinking of you always
And when you’re not near
You are always in my arms
And in my thoughts
Holding you close
Your life
Next to mine
As we live one perfect life
With you always in my arms
Lost In Thought
I feel like I’m losing my mind. I am being torn apart from the inside. And the truth is something a lot of people don't want to hear. I just want to leap of the cliff and have the faith that the one I truly love will catch me. I do have faith in the ones I love. I just don't always have faith in my faith. I feel so sad at times. But when I see some faces, I can't stop being happy. I love those who are there for me and who try to be there for me. I trying to not hate some people but with light also comes darkness. I’m doing my best to let the light rule my life. I love to write, but find it hard to write when I’m not with ones I love. I have writings about the darkness in life and I think they are some of my best works but maybe it’s because I was surrounded by darkness when I was young.
I can be quiet at time and working on being quieter in places that don't need a voice. I don't always speak up when I should but when I do watch out. I'll be truly happy when I can live the one life that I want to live. I want to write a book. I just think my thoughts are to scrabble for most to understand. I love my sisters for all the help they have given me and all the help they will always give. I do my best to keep in contact with those people I love but sometimes it's just so hard.
I never will believe that marriage can tell you how much you love someone. Marriage is not a bad thing I just see think it as a piece of paper. I just want to be able to love someone with so much love and conviction that when I walk with them hand in hand people turn around and say those two are in love. I believe that true love will never go unnoticed. I feel my soul reaching out for the ones I am meant to love and all I will know is happiness.
I feel like I need to stop trying to get ahead in life and just enjoy the moment I have and make. I want to dance in the rain with someone I love while music plays in our heads. I want to sit and watch a storm clean the earth. I want to stand on a mountain top and let the world know who I love. I want to be surrounded by water even if it's just a puddle. I'd be happy if I was poor as long as I had the ones I love with me. I want to write a song everyone will hear but no one knows who wrote it, it just changes you. I want to change the world for the better but not to be recognized for I just know there is a future for everyone else. I want to be with you for all of my life and even after that.
I believe true love is infinite and that believe friends are the ones who keep you sane and insane at that same time. I believe you can never spend too much time with your friends. I believe "I love you" is just a set of words unless you say it with your heart and soul and you will never say it with your heart and soul until you find that one you can't find anything wrong with what they do. I believe you can laugh at the ones you love for falling down as long as you help them back up and they should do the same. I laugh at myself for stupid things I do all the time. Feel free to join in and laugh at me.
I know I will never be a good speller but its okay. Cause the ones I love know what I mean. I think this rumbling is getting to long but I have too much going on in my mind. I believe any form of love shouldn't be hidden. I need to stop and clear my mind even if it's just a few seconds. I love listening to music and even more to sing along with it. I like looking like a fool sometimes because at times I am. I hope the ones I love read this and understand it. I hope they reply or tell me in person it touched them. I hope the best for everyone. By the best I mean what’s best for them not what they think is best. No one knows what’s best for them. We just know what makes us feel alive. We know what we need to have to stay alive. Who know who we need in our lives to make everything better? We know so much and so little.
Just take a moment in life to think of what you want and compare it to
what you need and see what matches up
Moments
These are all we have
All that matter
All that makes life worth living
Moments
So don't be sad when each one is gone
Enjoy the feelings it has left you
And the memories you have made
And remember that a moment can come anytime
So don't frown
But look only forward to the next moment
For it is sure to always leave a lasting impression
In your heart
And in your life
So live for every moment
Say what you need to say
Do what you need to do
But most important
Lose yourself
In every bit of that moment you are in
For they are so important to living
A wonderful
And monumental life
My Smile
You are my smile
Everything you do
Everything you are
And everything you want to be
Makes me smile
And for that
I do my best to make you smile
You are the happiness in my life
The reason I keep reaching for the stars
As I gladly help you try to reach yours
For all that you give me
I only wish to give back to you
And hold you in my arms forever
With a love that needs no words
Just the human touch
And a deep look
Into each other’s eyes
And smile
My Smile
In My Arms
I sit here wishing
Wishing every moment
You would be in my arms
Just to hold you close
To know your touch
To hear you heart
Is all I ask
When you’re in my arms
I feel so alive
And in such a perfect world
With endless love and hope
And anything possible
And it brings me to tears
Every time you’re not here
For in my arms
Is forever where you belong
Our Love
I sit here smiling
With happiness that’s never ending
Will a heart so full of love
And a sprit so bright with the light of the world
For the love of another
Is so pure
And so true
Our love is no lie
No infatuation
But the purest form of love
We love each other
Not only for whom we are
But who we become when we are with each other
Our love places us alone
In a sea of faces
For we only see each other
And that is all that matters to us
Our love
Our happiness
Our lives
Belong to each other
And we handle each other's hearts
With so much care
And only hope
That we will always be blessed with everything that we have now
With our love
Tim’s Quotes
Never hide the fact of who you truly are.
It is in that, that defines everything we do and everything we are
Waiting
I sit thinking
Thinking and waiting
For you and only you
And I know your waiting for me
And it pains me to see
Us not together like we should be
In each other’s arms
For all our lives
Us against the world
With no fear
And lots of hope
With a love that’s endless
I sit here waiting
As you wait for me
For our time will come
When we can be together
In a endless embrace
With a love so pure
And happiness that will last forever
As we hold each other’s hands
Walking off into the worlds
Keeping each other strong
IF I Was Lost
If I was lost in a sea of faces
Could you find me
If I was lost deep inside myself
Could you find me
If I was lost in every way possible
Could you find me
Not only that
Could you save me
Even if it meant saving me from me
Could you save me from the darkness
Inside me
Could you save me from the sadness
I create
Could you do all these things and more
Or would you walk away
Leaving me in the dark corner
Lost forever
In my own world
Everyone passing me by
And no one seeing me
All I ask is
If you love me
Truly love me
The way anyone should love another
To be able to save me
As I would do the same for you
I would travel to the ends of the earth
And endless space
Not only to find you
When you’re lost
But to save you
And to love you
So all I ask is
If I was lost
And needed to be saved
And loved
Would you be the one
Or would you walk away
Leaving me be
Lost
And alone
What’s Next
I sit here wondering
What’s next in life
What will happen
And as I sit here
I realize I don't care
As long as I got you