Toxic Assets
Life Ain’t All That Bad
Rod A. Walters
Published by Omega Man Press at Smashwords
Copyright 2010 Rod A. Walters
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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If you choose to sell your soul, be sure to arrange a worthwhile auction. It will drive your critics crazy.
May all four horsemen pass you by.
-(author)
“The thing that gets me is that these 'toxic assets' are still assets.”
-a very intelligent blogger, posted Feb4, 2009, www.marginalrevolution.com
GOING TO CHURCH, OR SEEING MANY RELATIVES
Assets That Can Make You Bleed
Bunch-of-numbers plus “S”s,
13-methyl-bunch-more-numbers-decahydrocyclo
penta
phenanthrene-3,17-diol
big molecule
extender of life
happy gynostasis steroid
molecules lubricate
molecules kill
vive la molecule
How sweet be the aspirin (no )
that bringeth relief to parts
general and specific.
One oxygen atom
per molecular ache-ee, so we think.
Good that we swallow faster than think.
Grief,
Just rear back and enjoy the sweet pain
general and specific.
Oh inanimate driver of animate slaves:
be it linear
your past never comes back.
Be it cyclical,
then it does not matter.
God either cannot forgive,
or gives infinite chances
thus worth nearly nothing.
Oh thank you
Mr. Dr. Einstein
you show us how to
squeeze more time from time,
though the understanding
costs even more time.
Yet, name another daily free lunch
like time.
No?
Wup, gottago’
‘bye
MATTER
Matter no longer stands lonely:
that universe made two equally loving partners.
What then? Boom go both.
ANTI-MATTER
Both go boom; then what partners
(loving equally): two made universe that lonely
stands longer -- no matter.
The elbowne is not funny
Hit it, you see a zillion pinpoints of light
Your arm feels like what ginger ale tastes like
at Monday breakfast
If you will laugh about it later
laugh about it now
ginger ale and all
So why did they name only one-half humerus?
So named in my parents’ day but no
longer: too much Thomas Huxley
the self-named naming amateur
and not enough connectivity and specificity and Greco-Latin clarity to obscure dense stuff so simple
it could even be called just stuff.
Many mingling molecules of nucleic acids, lipidaceous liquids, procreational proteins end up the stuff of us.
Same as in our parents’ day.
Same as our parents.
We are our parents, molecules and all.
Excepting that odd out-of-order nucleic acid or two
but same pancreational protein sequence.
See? See how we get the same stuff?
Tucked between those oafish molecules
lurk the non-molecular treasonous trash passed down since ‘way before old Greco-Latin masters
whipped semi-molecular tribes into order.
“What, though,” asks very molecular Socrates,
“is the alternative?”
Indeed, think of three independent other choices
to win that trip to Pago Pago.
Real molecules beat non-existence every time.
Eye Oh Maygah
Eye Oh Mayga
Eye-O-Mayga, I-Omega
Aye aye (sir), may go
No staying the same
Small changes are not meaningless.
Eternal rotation rules!
Happy birthday-cake
Old Yellowcake,
on your seventieth (or so).
What wish do you have?
As you lie buttery in your vat
awaiting the refining fire
an artist might say your yellow beauty
equals the lovely gold sparks
which jolt atomic electricity to grid,
your gift of life-giving kilowatts.
Go ahead, wish to Uranite [oxide] all over the world:
more power to ‘ya.
If you can spell “entropy”, you aren’t chaotic yet.
Unwinding downhill only counts in skiing,
or yo-yo’s
dropping tummy doesn’t
nor does dropping toast, which
always lands butter-down.
The real reason for writing that dull “is” is,
“Is” neither rises nor sinks, just is, always.
Hark, dear folks, entropy also measures gain:
see how the humorless say rusty nails show decay;
see how the humorful make hot rusty-nail frappe:
3:1 scotch whiskey to Drambuie,
scotch first, no ice.
Two Scots can’t be all that wrong.
Cool cloths for the heated forehead of raging prices,
this economists’ restless nagging dream.
Ironic sweet relief from the hot air inflating
the currency balloon, though,
so squeeze the puff from the money bag
and maybe it will once again be worth
a whole money bag.
Cough, choke,
pestilence mosquito,
fever and throwup,
no escaping one’s insides
burning and burning some more,
where oh bleary-eye where did
this delirious bacillus come from,
this vicious virus who jumped from/to everyman’s skin
then liver or lymph.
Dusk falls, cool as a serenade, then
in one med-tent
one victorious listless arm lends
a beautiful ruby resistance,
one bloody syringefull drawn by a night-Nightingale
lovingly cultured by a sweating Pasteur
for biological artillery tomorrow.
The white horse loses its race.
This time.
Important pre-assignment:
look up Penzias and Wilson
Or just Penzias.
OK, see, so they built this radio-wave antenna
(a huge horn honking to the universe),
pointing everywhere,
see, all directions will do
then filled up with pigeon poop
[droppings, ploppings]
fouling the wrong experiment
flummoxing the wrong reasons
thank goodness,
now we know when the universe came from
where on the clock it started
but without a clock
One dollar gets you a pound avoirdupois,
so cheap from India, Africa:
gold-shiny
hard
crumbly
roast and burn into industrial acid latte,
then pipe to most factories
so needed for such good-life these days.
Also for gun parts and explosives
sold to pirates.
Pirates so need to work in factories instead.
[A gripping tale, or
“The Necessary Squeeze.”]
Name something else
defining fully one-half of us
Name another word where an extra “r”
makes another word
which can be used in the same sentence.
Name another glob
who gets medicines
intended for the actual heart.
Nevertheless, here stands the veteran
who fought the fight with testosterone.
What is a “poststate”?
Maybe, don’t answer that.
Did you get my ....
__________
plug-in cords hooked up to the wall and then back to the TV & all the other
stuff all balled up
especially the monitor and being careful not to tripwire over all those plastic ‘n copper
sausages draped
all over the gawddurned place and
can we sit down,
__________
.... meaning now?
That general science teacher told us,
never say, “a mule is when…”
Yet a sinus is when
your mirror reflection looks better than you
your head doubles your body weight
breakfast looks as brown and gray
as stuffy sinuses, when.
The day looks much happier
when you say, eating a large cookie,
“a sinus was when…”
lowest denominator lipids
unfortunately
lack definite limits
with
little determined level
sized
large, diminished, little
causing
lifestyle dangerously lying
but
local doctors love’em:
labs delineate lifeline
leave doughnuts ‘lone
~~~~~~~~
Never,
long as you can look back
with a smile,
look down at your feet
and see feet
One can of biscuits
no salt added
is worth ten dollars in the wild
Rise up, O self respect!
Buy nothing from the sutler --
Cut a juicy leaf
Dig some roots
Roast a skinny fish
Ten bucks will feel better, later
Precip was invented for Neanderthals
No mammoths shall die today
Said he
Neither you
Said she
(in Neaderthalis sarcasticus)
I stay in cave
Said he
So too the mammoths
Said she
And they all took the day off
Scenes of the city
Rumbly tumbly rolly tumbling bumbling can.
Rolly rolly clingly rolly
tingly turning twisting cylinder drink can
rolly ringy bam tumble, ahhh pause
(Pepsi)
teeterrrr…. blue and red blue blue red
wind blow rumbly tumbly bammy
asphalt bouncing Pepsi can
uh-oh ooo-ooo S.U.V.!!
splaaat
Two-side can, Pepsi up
ingredients down
two-dimension silver blue & red plate
sky up,
dirty dumbassphalt down
Next time at least make
five cents in New York, Vermont:
lie barcode up
||||||||||||||| |||||||
if you can.
Sounds in the city
CD
CD
DVD
CD CD DVD CD
CD DVDVD DVD CDCD
CD DVD CDCD DVDVD CD
CD DC CD DC
BOTTLE
BOTTLE
CHIPOTLE BOTTLE
CHIPOTLE BOTTLE CHIPOTLE
CHORTLE CHIPOTLE
BATIKABAT
BATIKABATIKABAT
BAT BATIKABATIKABAT
ENGLISH BATIKABAT BATBATIKA
BATIKANGOLAN
BAT
BAT
SCOOP
POOP
SCOOP
SCOOP YER POOP DOPE
SCOOP YER PUPPY POOP
NOPE KORGI POOP PUP
SCOOP YER GODDURNED POOP
POP
Do L before A
And connect it with C
being sure the right “it” gets connected…
in time
Run, run, get it done.
The 3:59 hasta’ be here
as we hafta’ be there
before the 4:57
or else,
what?
Faster, son, get it done.
At the end, much is done.
The most dones, wins.
God, this is fun.
Big house-shaped cube of dreams
Large unruly wooden cave,
Gritty bats hanging from nails, hooks, or splinters,
Dusty bear-shaped lumps in the corners who
sullenly await criticism
so then to swat your head off,
inert pieces of lumber, wire, glass waiting to be
pitched into the garbage
Pitch one, any one
and feel instantly better…
Big cube of leftover nightmares
Large unruly amateur bio lab
straight from SyFy.
Too near, you disappear
in a cloud of semisolid gruel
Darwin would be so proud,
smiling through all the shredded cabbage…
Before being shredded, beheaded
then bowling-balled onto the truck
truck
Take a bow, maestro chef in leafy tuxedo -
You win the life medal
for feeding billions
to frighten off the black horse
Medals can be boring tho’.
So can soup;
don’t let it go to your head.
Being late for a very important date
means never, ever having to say you’re bored
But
if you must wait in curséd idleness:
try pronouncing “Y” without saying “ee”
you Yankee youth yanking yellow yokes,
yippee
how much does your tongue weigh
inside your mouth
can you fit the square root of “m” pecans
in your pants pocket
chase the rabbit for a workout
eat the pecans
Out of my light
I’ll throw my own clay
You’re blocking my sight
Please out of my way
First,
I will watch over you
little boy
so you can sleep and sleep,
my shadow warding off
musk oxes, saber-toothed camels
frowning candycane magicians.
No umbrage for the umbra,
you’re safe
little one
HUR’ray, HUR’ray, step raight up!
Buy me, look at me, send me your first-born!
We’ll pay the postage!
Hordes of uncivilized pulp
armed with disciplined inks
assault our mail slots daily.
Properly posted, of course.
Would we could lop weight off
fast as our fourth class stack plops in.
Someone out there please
invent this swap.
Advertised by fourth class, of course.
We might just return that reply card.
Maybe with our own stamp?
Of course.
“Virus interruptus into vita interruptus”
Tasks that bolo your best moves, your best schemes
plates and socks
crepe pans and underwear
all scramble to abuse your soap,
to hijack you on-an-otherwise-roll
Ugly, poisonous toxic time-spenders
But no dirt stays:
down the drain
forever
The nasty part never was an asset anyway.
Gravity is truly cruel
but truly the law.
Down, down waft dust motes mixed with
dust mites, covering everything not vertical --
mahogany tops turn titanium white upon
gravity’s goad.
If only (maybe only if) we could see this as
nature’s abrasive, ready for the purifying