AD INFINITUM---BOOK ONE
MASTER
of the
NINE STEPS
Published by John Northern at Smashwords
Copyright by John Northern 2010
All rights reserved. No part of this ebook may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author, except by a reviewer or an author, who may quote brief passages.
International Standard Book Number: 0-9632439-8-4
TABLE OF CONTENTS
This book is dedicated
To all those
Who utilize time,
And
Expend energy
To promote
And spread
Love and peace
Throughout the lands
Of our beautiful
But
Troubled Earth
In this story, the universal pronoun, 'man,' is all-inclusive for men, women, and children---searchers of the infinite---and is used in this context.
It is much simpler, less awkward sounding, and smoother to use a one syllable pronoun to express the concept of people rather than using phrases such as men/women or hers and his, or she/he, or Ms/Sir, or any other.
In essence, there is no sexism nor inequality of the sexes intended. It is, in fact, quite evident that men and women are equal upon the face of our planet, and throughout the infinite reaches of space, matter, time, and consciousness. Both are equal in the laws of infinity.
The stars are endless, forever distancing in endless combinations. The planets, the solar systems, the galaxies, and more are never ending - an infinite array of space and matter forever existent. And in this existence there are forms of matter in space that cannot even be imagined in our limited sense of perception upon our insignificant planet. But where does matter begin? And where does it end?
Scientists and philosophers have been asking these questions for centuries. But space and matter are infinite - forever on and forever out. And so to ask this is to ask - where is the beginning of infinity? And where does it end? But space and matter never cease; and only the imagination can form the answer to these questions. Only the continuous presence of thought can distance far enough to yield the laws that never change, the constant laws of infinity.
And those who think in terms of beginnings and endings are those who dwell in the presence of relativity. And these are the laws of change; for so it is that they may not hold true from one Universe to the next. But always yearning and seldom learning the infinite laws are the ways of the relative thinker.
Nevertheless, and still it is that the relative mode of existence is beautiful with its opposites and alikes, and all those between; for it is, indeed, ugliness which enhances beauty and makes it desirable; and it is hate which depicts the worth of love (an infinite law); and it is war which makes us understand the beauty and love of peace (but how absurd for the intelligent man to continue to war).
And so it is that relativity is our way of life, for are we not relative beings? And we shall continue to experience this mode of being. But, for the thinker, whether scientist, philosopher, nexialist, or any of the other categories which man likes to fit himself into, it is necessary to understand not only the relative, but also the infinite point of view. But where is the truth? Where is the whole truth? Drop the cloak of relativity and see with an infinite eye. Look at the whole picture
Still, many cannot; for man is a relative being with a relative eye that clouds the vision of infinity. And relativity forms the ego, which separates one man from another and indeed from the Universe. And the ego is a powerful entity, and often dictates the actions and thoughts of man.
Down through the ages the ego of man has limited his evolution. Centering upon the self has made him unable to seek out the truth of the Universe. It has made him think of self as all-important; and dogmatism has become the pattern of his egotistic thoughts.
Progressive thinkers of the past have suffered because of the ego of others. Galileo, for example, was put under house arrest for the last eight years of his life. He had proclaimed that the Earth was not the center of the Universe.
Later, of course, it was proven that he was right. The Universe does not revolve around the Earth.
This, then, led to the belief that the Universe revolves around our sun. But that too was incorrect. Today it is known that our sun, indeed, our solar system is nothing more than an insignificant speck on the edge of the milky way galaxy. Our sun is considered only a dwarf among the millions of giant suns throughout the known Universe.
Ego, then, clouds man's reason and judgment. It wants to center everything around the man. To put aside the ego and relativity, and to look to the laws of the infinite will bring forth a perception that will act as a guide to the whole truth rather than a partial truth. Today, there are many who still let the centering limit their reality to the Earth. There are many who still believe that the Earth is the only planet which is inhabited by intelligent life.
But there is no logic in this kind of thinking. There are billions and billions of planets in the known Universe. To think that we are the only intelligent life in the infinite reaches of space and matter goes against mathematical probability.
An infinite number of intelligent life forms have come and gone before ours was even born. And still they come and go-------as always they will. And ours is just one amongst the infinite.
Someday soon, this realization will come to humankind --- to our thought consciousness. And the truth will be known.
And then the story in this book, which takes place on another planet, will not seem like fiction. There are even some of you now who realize that this book is based on a true story.
And, indeed, it is the truth; but where does this truth come from? Does it come from the author? Does it come from a friend? Or a child down the block? Or from a stranger passing through town? Or from a psychic of well renown? Or from the mind that sees beyond? Or is it the imagination that forms a window through which we can see the infinite truth?
But does it make a difference? For the truth is still the truth. And, logically, it is evident that it doesn't matter where in infinity truth is found
nor how it is expounded; for the truth is always the truth. And this is one of the laws of infinity. And in this book there is a story of truth, and it matters not from whence the knowledge came. It only matters that those who read will understand that in truth they too can reach the spiritual heights of their desire, whether it be low or high, it will be the will that will prevail.
This, then, is the importance of the truth-----deep within the reaches of infinity on another planet a man and a woman once traveled through time. Their experiences and their loves are set forth in this book to bring about a better understanding of the life within the infinite and unchanging laws. And it will be seen that if we stride forth with effort and love, we can reach that place beyond the walls of the Earth. Indeed, we can reach the Ninth Step of the Master.
The stars trailing paths
Through the sky---
The steppingstones of the Universe
For man
Wandering
Always searching
Macro micro cosmically
The living within the rooms of
Infinity
Lo, behold me
I am the searcher
I am every man
And this is my story . . .
Again
I was trailing the desert---
Waves of sand
Reflecting
faint lights in the night,
Stars shining,
The night was chill
And
The wind blew lightly
Swirling sands
Upon shoes
Sifting through clothes
And lying upon my hair
"Time has weathered"
I thought
As I traveled the sands
"And eons
Have passed;
But soon
Now
I will find the light
Of the rising sun"
The sand crunched
As I footed it
Below
The wind whistled
Through the starlit night
Raising fingers
From the white sands
The moon was slowly rising
And its light
Was streaming
Shadows
Upon a still sea
Of barren land
I searched the horizon
As I crested a dune
I stood upon,
Looking for another garden
Within the Universal desert
As of yet
I could see none,
But one was near
For the scent of liquid air
Filled my perception
As I searched for the garden
I thought again
Of the rising sun
"The light to make
My gardens green,
My skies blue,
And my white mountains bright;
And soon now
It comes
Rising
On the horizon
The power in existence
To brighten
My future paths"
Gradually,
As I stood upon the crest---
My mind
In meditative thought,
As the moon
Rose
Slowly
Casting long shadows,
And as the sound of the wind
Upon wind
Whistling
And wind
Upon sand
Swirling
Grew mentally distant,
It began
Slowly
It grew louder
The sound
The ringing in my mind
The sign of Ad Infinitum
Sometimes
Like a roar---
Sometimes
Like a whisper
Spoke
The Voice,
But always
To hear it
Was like a storm in the night
I moved
A few steps forward
And sat
Upon the crest,
Legs sloping down,
And I looked at the stars
"The night becomes a silent trip"
I thought
As I watched the infinite lights
"The voice---
Like a cat on running black velvet
Ever coming
Padding softly
The silent stalk
Quiet now
And listen
Hear it"
I am the rising sun, the son of infinity
I am the only one who won the sea;
When your search is done, come to me
When your wisdom is none, come to see
To anyone, the sight from me
To anyone, the light is free;
So come to me, run---
Everyone
And you shall see
Wisdom is free
In the sea
Of the
Rising
Sun
The stars became visible
Again
An infinite rush,
The voice was gone
I sat
For a moment
Sifting sand and memories---
Cool in the night
I arose
Looking away from the stars
To the desert in front
And all around
I moved on
In thought
Thinking about the voice
"Riddles
As I push through the sea
Frustrating
As I track through the sand
Taunting
As I search for the sun
The voice---
Riddles that
Cry to me
As I wade through the rivers of sorrow
Sing to me
As I dance through the clouds of joy
Mourn to me
As I struggle through the oceans of hate
Bring to me wisdom
As I search for the sun
Yet---how dark my eyes
The voice---
Its shadow rises free from the deep
To fall upon this page of life
To become another scratch
In the world of infinity---
It rushes forth from the movement
Of my soul
It throws its wisdom
laughingly at the world
It rolls in its laughter
And wallows in its glory
It embraces my sorrow
And glories the more
It embraces my gladness
And glories the most
If only
I could be the poet"
I thought
As I crested another dune
"To bring forth my own failures
My own triumphs"
I stopped, a moment,
To breathe slower
I looked again
For the garden---
Through straining eyes,
All was dark but the stars
And ripples of moonlight
Upon the desert sands
"If only it were I were the poet
Instead of the pen---
The thought
Instead of the ink"
The voice
Within and without
Was always with me---
A stranger,
A poet in my soul
And my world
"You are the life and I the rock
You the wind and I the sand"
Silently,
Inwardly,
I smiled
I began walking the crest
Below
I saw a set of tracks
Dying in the sand
I slid down the crest
To follow them
"Yes-
The voice is my master
Sounding my depths
Without my will,
But
The day is near"
I thought jubilantly,
"And soon
I will be the master
Free
And truly
Of the power"
I continued on
Following,
Tracking tracks tracking the sun
I breathed out
Heavily
As I trudged up
The next dune
The tracks
Trailed to the crest, over
And out of sight
The sand slid
As I topped the crest,
In the distance
I could discern
The peaks of mountains
"So,
Here is the new garden"
I thought
I followed the tracks
Down the dune
And continued my journey
Toward the mountains
I knew that a new garden
Meant
New lands
New adventures
New cultures
New people
New friends and enemies
(The way of relativity)
But more importantly
I knew from prophecies
That this garden meant
The end of my search
In the world as I knew it
As the mountains became larger
With my approach
I could see a jungle to the right of them---
Miles of stretching green
Ominous and dark
"Yes,
Here is a jungle"
I thought
As I moved on
"A world totally of its own---
Savage
Primitive
Brutal;
Yet,
A world more honest
Than most of the worlds
Made by man
A world in which
Death
Is a means of survival
And not pleasure
Nor sadism
Nor profit
Nor any of the other reasons
That man finds it expedient
To kill another being"
I came to a stop
And scrutinized the fringe
Further down
I could see the rolling
Of the hills and plains
Continuing and composing
Completely
The horizon
I looked Back
Toward the mountains
And moved On
Soon
The dunes became smaller---
They began to level
Smoothing,
Calming to meet the jungle
Moving
Step upon step
Upon the desert sands
Became easier
As the dunes dwindled
And the sand became more firmly packed
Searching ahead
I could see
Leafy vegetation
Trees and vines
Intertwining
The ominous foliage
Forever distant
"What was that?"
I squinted my eyes
And peered further into the dark
Near the jungle---
I thought I saw
Something white
And fluttering
I,
The searcher
Stood looking
It seemed
As if
A signal,
Or perhaps
It was a white leopard
In curiosity
I turned my path
Toward the white
"I have never seen
Before
An animal of the jungle
Standing silent
Upon the fringe
Perhaps someone
Is in distress"
I moved silently,
Leaving tracks behind
As I traveled upon
The sands of time
"Being close to the sun
And knowing
The ways of the desert
Perhaps
I can help"
As I came closer
To the jungle
And the fluttering white,
As the moon rose higher
In the dark sky-
Shining beams upon beams
Upon waves and waves
Of sand and foliage,
And as the noises of the jungle---
Insects
Birds
Predator and victim
And others
Became more violent,
Finally
Before me
I could see upon the fringe
Of desert and jungle---
A woman
Merely a woman,
Beautiful
She was standing
Silent
With wind blowing hair
And swaying silk
Like rippling milk in white
I moved silently
Closer
Upon her bosoms
Long dark hair
Undulated softly
In the wind
"Catly closer," I thought
"And see the . . ."
It was then
Again
That the ringing
Intruded
Ever increasing
Silent,
Then soft
The coming of Ad Infinitum
Always present
Never ending--
But forever
The silent sound
I knew
Once again
The voice would set forth
In mental sound
(And subtly disguised)
Words of inner wisdom---
"And
Like the echoing waves of words
Whispering
Upon the oceans of time,
Resounding,
Touching
The edge
Of my mind--
The silent voice of Ad Infinitum
Quiet now
And listen
Hear it"
I am the rising sun, the son of infinity
I am the only one who won the sea;
When your search is done, come to me
When your wisdom is none, come to see
To anyone, the sight from me
To anyone, the light is free;
So come to me, run---
Everyone
And you shall see
Wisdom is free
In the sea
Of the
Rising
Sun
I moved toward the fringe
Where sand and jungle met
And each boasted of their power
Their danger their courage
They laughed at one another
And bragged of the tolls they had made
I moved slowly,
Patiently, yes patiently
The numbering years
It took me to learn
The meaning of that word
"But now
It is with me"
I thought
As I came to a small dune
"Patience---
A simple way of life
To give me
A grasp
On mental peace
Patience---
It has taught me through hope
That
Time is the acid that dissolves all problems"
I climbed the last dune
And there mingled the fringe
There stood the lady
White silk in the wind
Silent I stood watching,
Absorbing the moon
As it spilled from her hair
Silent I watched
Watching her watch
Slowly
I moved closer
Until
I stood
But a
short distance away
I scrutinized her being
She had fine features,
A small nose
Delicate lips
Her eyes shone, unusually
And
Through the fluttering white
Her slender figure was easy to discern
"Good evening"
I said
"I am a searcher
And
One from the desert,
I am forever traveling
And therefore know the ways
Of lost trails"
As I spoke
I waited---intent
Curious
Of her reaction
But
She was not startled
Nor did she cry out
Nor run away
In fear
Instead
She stood staring,
Silently
She watched the dunes
Her being seemed a paradox---
Radiating happiness
Yet
Her eyes
Were of a despairing gaze, laughing
"Perhaps
We could talk awhile"
I said---
Still
She was silent
I waited
And finally
With friendliness
I moved closer
"Lady of the fringe"
I asked
"Have you some plight,
And might I help?"
Silence
"Why the fringe?
Why do you stand here
Between
The two extremes of danger--
Jungle and desert?"
I thought-
"Perhaps
She is one
Of an expedition
And
Has become lost
In the night
Or
Perhaps
They are nearby
Camped
And she is merely watching
As the moon rises
Reflecting
Radiance
Upon the mountains
The meadows (further down)
The jungle
And the desert"
Still,
She said nothing
She radiated happiness
And a feeling of peace,
Tranquility
Still
She stood
Watching the desert
Then slowly
She turned her gaze
Toward the mountains;
With moisture reflecting the moon,
Shining
And
From her eye---
A laughing eye
Flowed a graceful tear
She looked
Back
To the desert
And,
As if speaking to the sands,
She said
"*Our meeting tonight
Was fated*"
She watched the sea
Of rolling sand
For a very long time,
The moonlit dunes
Rolled forever
Out of sight
Then
Without word
Or warning
She turned
And moved toward the jungle
"Just a moment"
I said
Not as easily
As she had turned
"Where are you going?"
A feeling
Undetermined
Perplexing
Came over me
And suddenly
I was afraid of losing her
I had to hurry
Trailing quickly
As she was disappearing
A dark enshrouded jungle
Engulfing
"Why not the meadows
Where only the desert can boast?"
I asked
Upon catching up
"Why not the mountains
Where only the sand can toll
As we walked along
I pointed
Down the fringe
"There are mountains and meadows
But a short distance
From here"
It seemed
Only logical
To walk a path
Of less danger
But still
She said nothing
Continuing
Walking upon
With darkness
Closing in-
Trees all around
As I watched her figure
Moving
Swaying gently
From side to side
I wondered why the fear
Of losing her -
"What has motivated me,
Why am I attracted
Following
This lady
Into an unknown jungle?"
Still
Her step
Never faltered
Nor hesitated-
She moved with sureness
"It all seems strange---"
I thought
"The lady
Of the fringe,
A paradox
Of emotions;
The jungle,
Entrance
To a new garden;
The meeting
Of silence;
And the motivation
Of attraction"
Strange
But still
I followed---
Carefully stepping,
Watching,
Listening-
Strange noises
From the dense green
In the dark
"Not too many
Have coursed
This jungle"
I thought
As I observed
The path---
It was not a path
Of bare ground
Of plains
And mountains---
Instead
Merely
An opening
Between the trees
Carpeted with grass
Providing
A way
Without crawling
Nor climbing--
A path without leisure
Silently stalking
Through the jungle
"A path
Difficult to follow---
Yet,
She moves
With confidence
Assured
And never pausing
It seems
She has traversed
This path
Many times before
And now
She finds it
Easily
By night
But why?"
I wondered
It was curious---
A mystery
In the new garden-
But
Would it help me
Toward the sun?
I could only
Follow
And find out
So I continued
On
And the dark trees
Passed
Slowly by
In the night
As we passed
Through the jungle
And
Into the shadows
Of primordial law
The moon---
A dim
And seldom seen
Light
Through the dense foliage
Was not enough
To keep me, at times, from groping
But
After awhile
And several miles
Gone---
Step after step
Twisting,
Turning,
Stumbling,
And silence, still
Upon the path--
Acute
With piercing noise;
Following
A hazy white
In a jungle
Of distinct black,
Darkness of the night
Enclosing---
She stopped
To rest---
Sitting next
To a fallen branch
A widened area
In the path
I sat down
Also to rest,
Perhaps sleep
The moon beamed
Through the widened area
Illuminating
Again
I noticed
Her physical being
"You are not
Of the desert"
I said
"Your countenance
Is too slim---
Your hair
Not black
You are not
Of the farmers
Of the plains people
You have a radiance
Of tranquility
About yourself
Therefore
Your are not
Of the coastal cities---
And that leaves
Only the mountains---
Your people
Are those of pines
And cabins
And dirt roads
Upon which
To travel
Is that
Not true?"
I waited
A reply
Long
In coming
I moved closer
The night was dark
With sudden noises
Constant
And startling
Finally
In a soft voice
She said
"*Yes,
I am
From the mountain nation*"
But
She said
No more
Her mood was sullen
Depressed
Her eyes gazed ahead
Into the depth
Of thought
Conversation
Seemed useless
Still
I talked
Awhile-
With mostly questions
But her answers
Mostly nods
Told me little more
Of her being
So,
Having nothing
To do
And
Being tired
I stretched out
Upon the path
Leaning my head
Upon the branch---
A soft pillow
Upon a soft bed
In a night
Upon hard thoughts
Pondering,
Dreaming,
Sleeping
The night passed
Without incident
And in the morning
When the sun
Forced its light
Through the dense growth
And
To the chattering
Of little furry animals
She rose---
I rose---
Stretching,
Pulling tight muscles,
Limbering
"Good morning"
I said
Waiting,
Listening
For a friendlier relationship
Than
The night before
But
Her replied 'Good morning'
Was one
With a manner
Of distance
And hope
Turned,
Waiting for patience
She looked ahead
And once again
Started
Down the path---
What else?---
I followed
Behind-
This time
Daylight
And walking was easier
Being able
To see
Without stumbling
On the darkness
Walls of trees
In light
With tentacled vines
Creeping
Leafy
And little animals
playing
And fighting
Running
Through the tops
And
Sitting on the branches
Colorful birds
With long feathers
Perched
And adding
To the jungle sound
"Truly,
A vibrant,
Joyful scene
Of life"
I thought
But I knew
In reality
That
At that moment
Danger
Could be waiting
Anywhere
Along the path
"Danger---
Coagulating the air
With
The scent of blood"
Instead of worrying
About future possibilities
However,
I continued to watch
Little animals
Swinging through trees
Running
And jumping
From branch to branch-
A way of life
For the creature
Of the habitat,
Instinctively high---
Above the trailing ways
Of preying beasts
As we walked along
A thorny bush
Protruded
Intruding
Bringing my attention
Back to the path
And the lady
In front
She swerved
And
I swerved
Staying clear
Of the needled limbs
Stepping again
Upon the path-
The flowing white
"Her white silk
(Never torn)
Is a signal for the beasts"
I thought
As I reached ahead
And let
The cool silk
Slip through my fingers
I tried to converse,
To communicate,
But still
She said little
"Why the despairing silence?"
I wondered
True---
She spoke
Now and then
But
There was a wall
Of distance
Making her words silent
When finally reaching
To communicate
"What can be gained
From this silence?"
I asked myself - stooping
As the path narrowed
And found its way
Beneath
A low hanging branch
"Nothing . . .
I remember, once
I was told
By a Wise Man of the desert
That
'Experience is the teacher of Masters'
These words
Have remained
In my memory
For many years-
Always conscious
Of other thoughts;
For
In this
And other lifetimes
Experience
Has shown me
The way
To higher truths
As even now
The experience of silence
Whispers
In my mind
The ways
Of the path
Of communication
How can a man
Live
Without it?
There is
No way,
For
All paths
Coincide
With the path
Of communication-
When treading
Upon a path,
Whether
Slowly or quickly
Whether
Backward or forward,
A man listens-
He talks-
But more importantly
He communicates
He receives
And gives
Of himself:
To all who are willing
And to all with whom he is willing;
To himself
Who questions, willingly,
In time of need
And
When paths need to be chosen;
To Nature
Who is always ready to communicate;
And
To God-
Love eternal
Who always IS
But only
When he ceases communication
Does he stop
Upon the path
And
Listening
He hears nothing"
I paused
In mental thought
A moment-
A snake
Slithered across the path
In front of the lady-
Who,
Unheeding,
Continued on
Without hesitation
"Yes,
Only man
Can stop upon the path
When
Other men
Or self
Or Nature
Or God
Speak
But how sad
To turn off
These beings composing life
How sad---
To turn to misery
For love - nonexistent
When he is unwilling
To communicate
With other men
To turn to ignorance
For answers - nonexistent
When he is unwilling
To communicate
With himself
To turn to desolation
For beauty - nonexistent
When he is unwilling
To communicate
With Nature
When he unwilling
To listen-
Touching tips
The soft noise
Of butterfly wings;
To listen-
The smell,
Sage
The desert air
In the rain;
To listen-
The taste,
The blueberry
Of the forest;
To listen-
To the sun
When
It brings him
Warmth
To turn to the void
For the nonexistent being
When he is unwilling
To communicate with God---
Yet,
How untrue
For
However slowly
Man moves
Upon the path of communication
With God-
He cannot stop
Completely
For to do so
Would make him
Nonexistent-
Everything would cease
Yes---
Communication
Is being
But
Sometimes
Communication
Is poor
Or slow
Or sometimes
When there is no desire
(By man)
There is
No communication
(Except with God)"
Again
I asked myself
"What can be gained
From the lack
Of communication?---
Nothing
Perhaps
I shall leave this lady
Once through the jungle"
My thoughts of communication
Dispersed
As the path widened
And merged
Into a jungle opening
Within
And far
To the right-
A large pool of water
"Probably
A watering hole
(Common)
For the animals"
I thought
The path
Trailed
Thirty yards to the right
Of the pool
Crossing the opening
And disappearing
Into the trees
Between the path and pool
Pointing toward the sky
The green stems
Of grass
And all around
The opening
Trees
And vines
And bushes
The sun shone
Through
Reaching ahead
I put my hand
On her shoulder-
The other hand
In gesture
Indicated
A grassy area
Next to the pool
"A relief
For weary travelers"
I said
"Let us drink
The water - life today
For the search tomorrow"
But as I said it
A mental effort
Was needed
To free the last word from my tongue,
My being became tense---
For
At that moment
A large beast of prey
Came bounding
From the underbrush
He stopped,
Becoming intent
Immediately
He perceived us
His talons
Several inches long
Dug the ground
In anticipation
His fangs gleamed
From the flow
Of saliva
His snarl
Lowered the sound
In his throat
And raised his lips
(Showing masticators)
Taut muscles
Were ready
"So,
Here is a beast
Who would bring
An end
To my jungle path
It could have ended
Back there
Or
Further ahead-
But it didn't
And it won't
Instead
It ends here"
I picked up a weapon--
The only weapon--
A large rock
Within a tight grip
Whitened my knuckles
"Quick"
I said
In a quiet, pointed voice
"Run
For that tree"
My finger indicated
A tree
Twenty yards distant-
Low hanging branches
And strong vines
Clinging
Enticing escape
But
Instead of running
And to my amazement
She continued
Indifference
As she looked
Upon the beast
"*It is not
His will
Nor ours
For the grievance
Of destruction*"
She said
As she looked back
To the path
In front
And continued
To walk
Her average gait
Upon
But
Her words
Offered no comfort
I gripped the rock
Tighter
Walking
Befuddled
Not knowing
As I stared
At the beast---
Dimness of life
Surrounded by yellow
And golden fur
Jowls slavered
And fangs
Glistening
In the sunlight
His beady eyes
Watching
Waiting
The right moment
"For the lady
A tearing and rending
Death of tears
And any time
Now
Will be the time"
I thought
The tree was then
Fifteen yards
Away---
"I will grab
The lady
And run
For the nearest branch
It should be strong
Enough--
And perhaps . . ."
But
My decision
Of action
Came too late---
The beast
Made his move
Silence in stride
Bounding
Leaping
Golden
Through the air
Sleek
Rippling strength
The power to rip
To kill
In order to live
To search
To eat the food
From the light
Of the sun
(Though
I will fight
For life-
Perhaps
Survive)
To know death
Knowing life
And living fuller
To let loose
Living
Higher
Living again
But begins the day
And birth brings
A time
Again
Within the cell
I waited
The agony of rending
The moment
Before parting-
But all
For the unexpected
And wonder
Bounding---
Not the tearing
Of death
Instead
He lay
Beside the path
Preening himself
A bass purr
Sang
From his throat
"But what is this?"
I wondered
And still
In doubt
And
Gripping
I retained my hold
On the rock
The lady
Looked over
Her shoulder,
Momentarily
"*I look
To the past
And
I see you
Searching*"
She said
Ignoring the beast
"*Searching
For an answer
To life -
Searching for the sun ---
Infinite wisdom*"
She paused
Lengthy,
As we walked
And gradually
(Walking too slow)
We passed
From the jungle opening
"The beast has recently mealed
On some other victim"
I thought
As we moved
Into the crowded jungle
Green
The lady continued
"*A poet
Once wrote a poem
Which describes the life
Of the searcher:
'We are running upon the waves of time
Swimming through the sands of life
Climbing the mountain of perfection
How high
How long the climb
And oh to slip
To woe
To cry
To die
Then to struggle forward
Drudging moving tiring
Trudging pushing pulling
But look-
Beating heart
Faster,
So fast
For there it is:
The top
Now,
Move quickly---
Hurry
So close
At last
Reaching
Pulling
Climbing
Up
Upon the top
But look-
Another peak
A higher peak
(A new low
In the mind)
But don't cry
Keep moving-
Laugh and love
Have patience
For this is the life
Living
And on a day
Someday
Out of the infinite chain of mountains
Will come your mountain
The wisdom
To set you free
Again
With the infinite mode of being'*"
As she finished
She paused
For a mere moment
And turned her head---
From her twinkling eyes
She laughed,
And then moved on
"Today
We might
Truthfully
Give a little prayer of thanks"
I said
She moved
Silent
I raised
My voice
"How is it
You sound like the voice of Ad Infinitum
Speaking many truths
But telling me little?"
Silence
"How can we be friends"
I asked
"If you continue
Your silent ways?"
Still
She said nothing
As she led
Upon the path
"Even discomfort
Can be pleasant
With a joyful companion"
I thought
As I looked around
At the jungle
"Evidently, however,
Something
Has disturbed her
And she has built
A mental wall
To keep out the world
Still,
I shall wait,
In following,
Awhile longer
And if my patience
Yields no companion
Then I shall travel,
Again,
Alone
In my quest
For the sun"
We continued on
Both of us
In silence
Tiny
Next to the trees
Looming over
Twisting
Turning
Stooping limbs
And moss
Hanging down
The day was long
In passing-
Fatiguing
Sweating
And resting only
For short spaces
Of time;
Or stopping
To pluck
To eat
Small golden colored berries
Growing upon bushes
And
The seldom trod path
Continued under our feet
The shining sun
Beamed
Shining rays
Upon endless vasts of green
Two moving specks
Moved
Upon the path
There was
Green closing green
Closing in
Upon the tiny path
The path narrowed
At times
And disappeared into a myriad
Of vines
Shrubs
And grasses
Still
Her graceful figure
Always moved easily
Over the thorns
And under the moss swinging trees
Around the quicksand
And
Through the parting bushes
As I continued
To watch her
My mind passed
Into meditation
And
As we passed
Upon the path
The day passed
With part of me
Always watching
Very wary
Of the jaws
Of the moving jungle-
But the path
Wound its way
Through danger
And yielded
No more
Beasts of prey
And the sun
Traveling slow
Upon its path
Through the sky
Found its way
To the horizon
Yielding
The twilight
And dusk
Before the dark
The night came---
Uneventful
It passed
Lying upon
A bed of moss
Beneath a tree
As the jungle sound
Communicated
Voicing
The sounds of life---
Disturbing
But sleep
Came easily
After the long day
And then
The dawn
And rising
Again
To the morning note
Of jungle birds
Chattering, furry creatures
And cry of victims;
We rose
Again
To trail
Upon the path
It seemed
The new day
Would bring
Another
Journey
With only
The excitement
Of danger
And always trudging
Through jungle ways
But soon
(Traveling not far)
Toward the end
Of the new dawn
The jungle ended-
And the path laughed its way away
"This is good"
I thought
"Now I can travel
A straighter Path
Easier-
And the sun
Is on the horizon"
From the top,
As the path
Traveled up
A small hill,
I looked back
For a moment
Watching
The miles of stretching green
"Jungles jungles running thin
Meet the meadows
Where hills begin"
I chuckled out loud
"Perhaps someday
I will be the poet"
I thought
I looked forward
Again
To the future path---
And the day
Seemed brighter
Over the hills
Two traveling travelers
The path upon
Still feet clung
Currents of wheat rippled
Swaying in the breeze
And sparkling dew
In the morning sun
No longer
Did I attempt
To converse
Merely-
I walked along
Thinking of future ways
And future days
After awhile
We turned a bend
And there ahead
The path divided
Forking
Into two
The right was graced
And I the left
To travel alone
Surprised
She looked over,
Across the division
Where I was walking slowly
Upon the path
"*Are you leaving me?*"
She asked
Stopping
I turned
And looked at her---
Dark brown hair
Spilled over her shoulders
And lay gently upon
Her breasts
"How much you liken the voice"
I said
"Always silent
Even when speaking,
Speaking silence"
She clasped her hands
In front
"*Practice patience*"
She said with a tone
Of wisdom
"How long must I practice?"
I asked
"How long
Till the truths shine?"
I looked to the fields
And outstretched a hand
Feeling for words
With fingers of thought
"I have wandered
More fields than a rainbow
More hills than a path
More stones than a river
More mountains than a cloud
I have wandered
More days than a sky
I wandered
The cities
The worlds
The stars
And yet
Still I search for the sun
So
Tell me not of patience"
"*But
We have
Talked - communicated*"
"No"
I said
"We traveled
The same path
Together
But we were separated---
A wall
Of distance
And still
It is there"
"*Come with me*"
She responded
With the tone
Of an underlying question
"*And we will . . .*"
"No"
I interrupted
"Our relationship
Has nothing to gain"
I turned
And walked
Down the path
I wasn't angry
Really,
But I felt
That nothing
Could be gained
From the information of silence--
Not friendship
Nor happiness
Nor love
Nor the light
Of the rising sun
"So,
It is best
That we part"
I thought
And with clinging feet I clung
And over hills and over hills
All alone again I traveled
"On with the fields of wheat
And I shall sow this garden
And see what grows
Before I track the desert again
Path of rolling hills
Of indifference
Sowing the garden as I go
Now is the time of the prophecies---
Take me to my sun
What matters?
Let me reap the light"
My confidence was high
As I walked along
Above
The sky was blue
And dotted with white clouds
Birds flew
Circling above and
Sailing over
Little animals
That scampered in the fields of wheat
The sun was warm
I thought again
Of the desert prophet-
Long white hair
And brown wrinkled skin
An old, old man
Near the gates of death
Yet a man of wisdom
With an inner eye
To see the paths
Of the future
The desert peoples
Traveled thousands of miles
To obtain his advice
They would listen to his prophecies
His philosophies
His teachings of life
Some would find sadness,
Others gladness
They would lay gifts
At his feet
In appreciation;
They knew that his were the words
Of truth
"Yes"
I thought
"Words of truth
Telling me of a garden---
This garden
Yielding
The light of the rising sun"
In anticipation
Perhaps eagerness
I continued
To trail
The day was slow
In passing
As I thought
About the sun
The prophet
The lady
Wild beasts and jungle
The desert
And other gardens---
"And now
The path in front---
To what future
Of reality
Does it lead?"
Like a snake
The path continued
Winding
Easy
And slow
As it moved
A Westerly route
Through the hills
Another day
Through the night
The morning
A few hours more,
Coiling the hills
And then-
Swaying, waving
Becoming sparse
Rolling from sight
The sea of wheat
Was gone
Flattening out
The hills were leveling
Up ahead
A path crossed mine
I passed it by
After walking
Nearly half a day
Finally
Looking ahead
The hills were gone
A plain plain planed
A vision of miles and miles and miles
The underside of flat
For miles and miles and miles
I continued on
For several days
Searching
The weather had changed
No clouds in the sky
No wind
Not a breeze
Not even an occasional gust
I looked ahead,
Watching---
Another path crossed mine
Upon the clinging path
I passed it by
The heat was stifling
If only for a breeze
Furthering distance
Another day
Ahead again
A path crossed mine
The sweating heat
Burning
Burning feet
Another path crossed mine
"Paths--
Tracking
And trailing the worlds
Like feet in the sand
Traveling
Seeking a goal
Each time
I pass a path
I wonder
'Where
Does it travel?
And
How would my life be changed
If I took this path
Instead of that?
Indeed
How would it be
If I could travel
All the paths
Live all the lives
Track all the tracks?'"
Several more crossed
At different angles
And I passed them by
"If I had infinite feet,
Then would mine
Be the knowledge of God---
Omniscient"
Through that day
And through that night
The sweating hot night
Furthering on
Sleep and walk
To the dawn I went
The breaking of day
Broke
To break the will
The rising sun
Shone through
The beginning light
Spread
Accompanied by birds (but not that day)
The cloudless sky
Blue and pink combining
Providing light
Dimly seen
Vaguely outlined
Gradually
The beginning day
I looked about
As the light intensed
I stopped in amazement
"Hundreds
Thousands
No---
Countless
Obscurity"
I looked behind be
"Where is the path
I have walked?---
Lost in the maze"
Paths crossing paths crossing paths
But where was mine?
"From whence did I come?
And
Whither shall I go?"
There was no way to tell
Which way
Was the way
Crossing Crisscrossing paths
Countless on barren land
In all directions
Away
Surpassing the horizon
Treeless
Plantless
Rockless ground
Not even was the desert so barren
I moved on---
What else?
"Finding the sun
Will be just as easy here
As any other place,
But the heat
Is stifling"
As the sun broiled down
I wandered aimless through the maze of paths
It was my hope
To come, eventually, to the perimeter
Of that Hades Kingdom----
"I will follow the path
Of the sun"
I thought
"The end of this
Confusion
Will come"
I wiped the sweat
From my eyes
And continued on
A day passed
And still
The paths were countless
On barren land
Still
Another day
Passed
As I followed the sun
In the field of paths
Stepping lower
Slower
Pushing through the waves of heat
Almost dragging
Stumbling upon the barren ground
I paused
For a moment
Straining my eyes
Searching ahead
I thought
I saw something
Standing
In the distance
"Is it a mirage?"
I wondered
Closer
Draggingly closer
"My eyes are undeceiving,
It is not a mirage
But a figure---
How to figure a figure
Out here
It is"
I wondered who it was
"She possibly knows
The way out
But possibly stranded
Too"
Approachingly closer
Hoping
My imagination
Began to take over
"Is it a woman?
Do I see a dress?"
Lifting my feet
Through the heat
Upon the plain of paths
I moved quicker
Closer
Dismayingly closer
"Wet sweat
Sweet sweat
Toiling
In the boiling heat
And all for naught
Not a woman
But a pole---
Tall
And wooden
"Why a pole
In the middle
Of a maze?"
Carefully
I scrutinized,
Observing
Upon
And around the pole
There appeared to be
Bloodstains
Sweat dripped from my nose
As I looked
At the pole
I sat on the ground
Leaning my back against 'The empty door'
Jutting itself insidiously
From the trailing maze
"Two days
And no water---"
I thought
As I watched
The sweat drip
I was lacking
Energy---
Too tired
To wipe away
My life's blood
"Perhaps
The old prophet
Saw into death---
Maybe I shall find
The light
Through the infinite darkness
Of my eyes"
I reached up
And unbuttoned
My sweat soaking robe
My hand
Flopped again
Down
To the ground
I sat
And waited---
For what?
Perhaps
To regain
Energy
Perhaps
For the sun
To go down
Still
I sat---
Sitting
Waiting
Suffocating
Drowsing
Tiring . . .
And then
I saw it---
At first
Merely a haze,
Coming closer
Through the night
I peered
I strained
For the sense
Of it
"Come closer
And
Let me see"
Gradually
The form
Takes shape---
Elegance
And radiance
In the rain
I call to her,
But then
She turns---
Movement in white
Graceful strides
The flowing silk
The moonlit hair
Running through the rain
Away
Far away
How beautiful
The falling rain
How beautiful
But oh the sadness
The blinding blinding rain
It has come
It has drowned the light
And the sight of your soul is gone
To see you again
Through the dark
The rain
Come
Come back again
Come, let us be together
Love together
Write together
Yes
Let us bend quills together
Let it flow
Free and rhyme
Fiction and prose
And to the world
The drowning world
The bending river shows
But ah the sadness
Reality:
You are gone
Oh my God
My God
My Man
My Greatness
My God
You are gone
And the rain is warm
Warmer
It is hot
Running hot
It is . . .
Suddenly tense
I awoke
Wet sweat
Running warmly
Dripped from my nose
Wiping the salt tears
From my face
I looked to the trailing maze
Leaning forward
I put a hand on the ground,
Again
The other wiped away water
That stings the eyes
Was I still dreaming?
I looked
No
I was awake
And they were really there
Standing in front of me
Tall
Broad
Proud
Men and women
Such big people
Rings
Bracelets
Necklaces
Spears and knives
Scalps on belts
Such little people
But where did they come from
Upon this maze
Of paths?
There were close to fifty of them
(Including children)
Most were expressing grins
Of invidious plenitude
And many seemed excitedly anxious
Anxiously waiting
"Who are you?"
I asked
But they didn't,
Couldn't
Answer,
Instead
They conversed in a strange language
One I had never before heard
It was guttural and primitive
I thought
"Perhaps they will help me"
(But somehow I didn't think so)
"Just a palm of water,
Of life
And
A finger
Pointing the way away
From this maze"
I thought
Suddenly they stopped talking
And two white men and a yellow
Came cautiously
Forward
Toward
In moments
And a brief struggle
They had me bound to the pole;
Binding with rawhide
And tearing the skin that covered my wrists;
The rawhide soaked blood
They began to dance
In a circle
Around myself and the pole
Singing
Jumping and chanting
Running
Yelling
Spinning and rolling
Such strange people
Skins of all colors
A large white man
Tore a hole
With his spear
And ripped away my clothes---
God
But for a breeze
All
Then
Became quiet
But for the large white man---
Yelling and shouting
And jumping magnificently high
He danced a dance of epilepsy
Rippling muscles surged
Taut to the bone
Dancing to a rhythm
Rippling
Quivering
Quaking
Bulging
And relaxing
For others to bulge
He continued to dance
While the others watched
They edged to the front of the crowd
Getting better positions -- some sitting,
And little children peered between legs---
And the white man continued,
He danced for the sky
Face upward
Jumping
Twisting
Jumping
Chanting
Continuing
Finally
He finished---
A violent finish
Bearing down on me
With beady eyes
Twisting and turning
Showing his
Teeth
And yelling to the heavens
Heaving his spear
Up and down
Sweat rolling from his body
Such a big man
Up and down
Up and down
Such a splendid spear
Beaming reflections
Reflecting
Bright light
From the hot, cold steel point
Such a skillful spear
Accurate
Deft
Such a violent finish
With a skillful spear
He wounded my side
The spear parted skin
Easily
Being sharp
Slicing bowels
And puncturing organs---
The spear rended
And withdrew
The anguish and blood
Tearing my brain
Borning my death
When the morning
Was gone
My eyes
Would grow dark
With the night
Ah the anguish,
But the warm blood
Was cool
Running on burning skin
In the heat
Of the day
They all rose,
Again he danced
This time,
Time
A longer dance
Perhaps waiting
For the morning to pass
But
Forthwith
He drew a knife
Glinting
And came toward
He placed it to my throat
And drawing to create
A new passage---
Blood
As I looked at him
I thought
In anguish
"Merely a movement
A mere move of his arm
To send away
From this body
Forever---
A mere merely
For forever
A mere merely
To destroy
A total world"
And so,
So quick
There it was---
The end
How should I have felt
So close
To my goal?
How unfeeling
My shaded end
To end
And begin over again
"Time has turned
My wheel of life"
I thought
In the moment
Before death
"And I have traveled
Many roads---
All leading
To the same goal,
Bringing me closer
But now
It will end---
A slip backward,
A delay
In progress
Only to begin again"
I waited
For the final pull
The slicing
Of my throat
The gushing
Of blood
And the feeling
Of horror
The moment before death
I followed his eyes
As he began
To draw the blade---
But he was no longer
Looking at me
Instead
He was gazing
Behind
And
His smile downed
To a wrinkling frown
And stepping back
Carefully
With
Withdrawing the blade
Concerning
He stared behind me
Backing further,
Back to his people
They all stared
Still I waited,
The dance
The knife
The end
My body waited
The eternal wait
The dead weight
My soul would be free
Together
They huddled closer
The leader
Thrusting forth his spear
As if
A protecting threat
"Finish your ceremony"
I said
I waited---
Nothing happened,
Truly
A strange ceremony
I was feeling faint
The blood continued
From the rend
In my side
Still
They stared
Watching perhaps
Until death came
From bleeding
It was at that time,
As the strange people
Backed further
Over the barren maze,
As blood
Wound its way
From the wound
Down my side---
My leg
Dripping to the ground,
As the moisture
Rose
From the red stains
In waves of heat,
Through sweat bleary eyes---
I saw her---
The white white silk
Always cool
As she stepped beside
The lady of the fringe
"Such deathly timing
Why have you come?"
The leader
Protecting threatening
Protecting his people
Thrust his spear
Up and down
Up and down
Backing away
"Lady of deathly timing
Run away
Run for life
Or get behind
Before he throws his spear"
Up and down
Up and down
So cool
Unheeding
She raised her hands
To the cloudless sky
Bright blue
Peaceful
Over endless paths
Her fingers reached out
Pleading
"Plead you God?
Run away instead
And save your life"
She ignored
Unhearing
Looking to the sky
She spoke
And thunder answered
Roaring
And lightening shattered the mirrored day
Frightened faces
Looked to the sky---
Spears were dropped
Children were grabbed,
The huddled people scattered
Running in all directions away
Further and further
Merely specks
On the edge of the horizon
Falling hands
Thunder and lightening ceased
Reaching
Touching my hands
Untying my bonds
She put an arm around my waist,
A hand upon my wound
And from her eye
A smiling eye
Flowed a subtle tear---
A lone tear
To keep moist the heart
I was happy to see her
But I knew
That death was with me;
I wanted not
To lean too heavily
Upon her;
I staggered forward
A step
And slumped to the ground
Darkness fell heavy
Upon my world
The light beamed forth
To touch my world
Surging
Impulses
The key of consciousness
Unlocked the door
Opening
The light penetrated
My eyelids fluttered
"*You are awake*"
A voice said softly
"*Good*"
"I have had
A strange dream"
I said
As I touched my side
I felt for the wound
But
It was not there
"My dream was of savages
And their rituals
Ceremony
Spears
And my blood"
I looked up
At her as she kneeled
Beside me
"It must have been
The heat"
I said
As I stood up
She said nothing
She stood
Beside me
And
Took my hand
And I,
With the other,
Stretched it out
Toward the many paths
In question
My hand swept the horizon
"How did you get here?"
I asked
"And
How will we leave?"
As the sweeping hand
Turned my body
I saw behind---
A pole
"*Let us go
This way*"
She said
Pointing to her right
There seemed to be
Fresh stains on it
"My world still suffers
From the heat"
I said to myself
I turned back
And holding her hand
We moved off
In the direction
She indicated
"I must have been delirious"
I thought
As we walked along
"Hallucination,
Closing off consciousness
To the reality of my world
Still---
It has done no harm
For I feel
Energetic"
No longer the stumbling
The dragging
The falling
"Yes,
The restoration
Of rest"
The lady singled
A path
From the crossing of paths
One to lead us
from the maze
Time passed quickly
No longer the mental hindrance
Of slowing feet
And heavy breathing,
Sweat dripping
Companionship
Several hours
Gone
And the paths
Thinned out,
Only a few
Crossing
The plains began to roll
The wheat waved hello again
The sky was a darker blue
And rode upon the shoulders
Of white fluffy clouds
A bubbling stream gurgled
Following below
Following the path
Little animals peered
From their homes
And sailing birds
Wheeled upon the sky
Walking along
And the white white silk
Never soiling
But always light and joying
Fluttering slight
Making silent noises
Louder than her words
Days upon
And I thought she would never speak
But then one morning
As the sun rose
And shattered the darkness on the mountain
To the left
And as the birds
Began the morning note
And life emerged
From sleeping hideaways
She began to talk
A steady voice
Slow with patience
"*For many days
I have traveled
The mountains
The plains
The paths
And again the plains
The jungles
To the fringe
I left my mountain nation
Where my people live on top of the world
Though sometimes in the deepest valleys
And though my trip was a long time planned
I left with a heavy heart---*"
She paused momentarily
As we crossed
The rippling stream
"*A short time before I left,
Evil plotters rose up
And now my father is dead
A great man has died
He was a ruler
He ruled strength and power
He ruled with wisdom
Ruling love and compassion
He ruled men and women
And had a control
In love
Over all living beings in his nation
The morning I left
The nation mourned his death;
And though I am with
The infinite mode
Still
I am a relative consciousness
Unable
At times
To bring forth the happiness of the day---
A conflict,
A paradox of existence
Accompanied my journey
And when
I met you
Upon the fringe
Still
I was in conflict;
Inner thought,
Cloaked by silence,
Was my strongest weapon*"
She smiled
And I
Replied with silence
But finally
The ostensible
I said
"I'm sorry about your father,
And I know
For him - the scales are balanced,
And for those who did the deed ---
The scales shall be balanced;
Still
I understand not
Why you made the journey
To the fringe?"
"*Simply,*" she answered,
"*I followed the plan
Of a dream
Sound foolish?
No-
They are messages
From the other side,
And
I know
When they must be
Fulfilled
And it is
Mostly
They come from
A high source
Of knowledge---
So,
I planned,
I journeyed
And you came,
Even
As I knew
You would
But I traveled
With a heavy heart*"
She paused
Once again
With a longing Look
But only
For a short time
And then she spoke
Of other things
Light and cheer
Words gracing life
And boasting happiness---
I could tell
She knew the meaning of today that day
And hand in hand
We continued on
The winding path
The wind blew
And dark clouds rolled
Thundering skies
In light and dark
And as we traveled the path
In storm
Upon
The night came
And there was lightening
Bright lightening
Shaking the dark
And waking the night
"Dawn
Rising dawn
Breaking the way
And comes the day
Oh sunshine
Oh rain
Oh fog --
Lifting blanket from the grass
Shine shine sunshine
How beautiful your rays
This day
Your day
Today
Path path
Walking path
To the meadows
Of running grass"
Our feet met the meadows
Of grass
"Green grass
Roaming
Meadows of life
Grass and flowers
Flowers flowers
Colors all"
How beautiful were the coloring fields
Crossing streams
Feet
Bare feet
Love of life
Scenting flowers
And joy beneath the weeping willow
"*To love happiness
For all
Is true love*"
We laughed
And talked of life,
Later
She sang a song
And we enjoyed the present
For what it was
That day
We continued on
And
A sparse barrage of trees
Shot up
Surrounding us
The meadows met the mountains
And the mountains were at our front
While the meadows flanked us
Beginning a fringe
Speaking of many topics
She spoke of war
And I agreed
With her opinion:
"*War is a useful means
Of experience (of gaining knowledge)---
The truth of sadness
And loss of those you love
Yes,
Useful for the savage,
The wild man, or the beast
All climbing the chain
(Climbing for perfection);
But for the cultured,
Knowledged man
War is useless
And serves only
The ego of governments
Or the false beliefs of religion,
And not the man
Yes
Cultured man too
Is climbing the chain
But by the time he is cultured
And sophisticated in mind
His need for the knowledge of war should have been fulfilled*"
As we furthered our journey
The path began to climb
The air was crisp
And smelled of pine
Little animals
Wary
Watched the travelers;
Myself
And the lady in white---
Graceful and smooth and patient
Walking
Talking
She spoke of events
To come
And the past
"*I remember a poem
Which once
I read:
I am the present I live for now
Live with me and I'll show your how
Live not with the past, a moment ago
A week, a year, a century or so
Live not with the future of future days
For the future is a means of many ways
Here then
Is a factor for happiness:
Learn from the past
Plan for the future
And live with them both for the present*"
"Maybe,"
I said
As I pondered
Her words
"But I never stop
Thinking
Of the day
When I shall find the sun"
"*It is good
Keep your ambition
And your goal
But do not live in the future---
Becoming too involved
Will destroy
A strong will*"
I said nothing
And thought
To think later
On what she had said
Ahead--
Gurgling over rocks
A mountain stream
And just below---
A pond
We approached
Hand in hand
And looking at me
She said
"*Tell me
Of you*"
We sat down
Beside the stream
Resting
Eating pine nuts
Living
Breathing the fresh pine-scented air
And watching the fish swim
"Even as you---
I am
And have been forever
Simply,
Still I am
And will be forever
I have always traveled the infinite cycle
And always will
Finding and losing my sun
Searching sometimes
Without knowing for what;
I have had infinite experiences
Still I expect
And find new ones
An infinite more
For this is the way of life
And now
Again
I am searching for the sun
Perhaps
You can help
But
You must not speak in riddles
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