Five Years and Counting. A Journey into the Mind of Soul Poetry
Cendrine Marrouat
Copyright © 2010 by Cendrine Marrouat
Smashwords Edition
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INTRODUCTION
The true mission of artists is to come to terms with their humanity through their own creations and actions. It is the only way they can help and uplift others.
This book is my testimony to the world that we all change and grow, and that writing is one of the most powerful forms of healing.
This collection is a compilation of old and new poems. Some you already know and others (many of them) you have never seen. The pieces at the end are also part of Rizen, the debut CD that I released in 2009. Part I is comprised of poems that I translated from my French book (Sortons des chemins battus. Poésie de l’âme).
By compiling five years of my poetry, my wish was to give you the opportunity to witness my growth as a poet and individual through the experiences from which I have learnt. My poetry is not only personal, but it is also universal. It means that while some pieces are very dear to my heart due to the memories evoked, a lot of others target readers. As a child of God, I feel that my mission is to help my fellow humans through the medium I master the best: poetry.
While many consider poets to be dreamers who should stop wasting their time, I, for one, cannot conceive my life without poetry. The power of the written and spoken word, used in conjunction with mind, heart, and soul, creates a universe of possibilities that only those who have not found their passions would deny. Life cannot be experienced fully without them...
This is exactly what the photograph on the book cover is about. I took it while visiting Dr. Sun Yat-Sen Classical Chinese Garden, a beautiful garden sitting at the beginning of Chinatown, in Vancouver, Canada. When looking for God or inner peace, people's gazes tend to rest on lower things. For example, they will look at the wall or the ground, and what they see will always be distorted. This is what happens with our own shadow when we are outside. Depending on the time of the day, the Sun will make it look more or less elongated. Too many people are busy looking down and trying to find a meaning to what they see without taking the time to breathe. Were they to look slightly up (with no expectation), God and inner peace would be found instantly.
If you notice, the picture is slightly rising. It forces the eye to follow the pattern and imagine what is behind the window or on the left, where the mirror is. The peace I felt in the room where I was standing turned the picture into something that helped me find answers to some of my questions about life.
In conclusion, I want to thank a few people from the bottom of my heart.
Natasha Guy, my proof-reader and friend, whose professionalism and dedication have been amazing.
April Sims, whose drive for excellence is unparalleled. Her unrelenting support and friendship have been instrumental in the completion of this book.
NCC for teaching me valuable lessons on love, patience, and forgiveness.
HMT for her constant faith in me.
And of course, God, for entrusting me with the gift of words!
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PART I.
BIRTH OF POETRY
I WRITE YOUR NAME
I write your name. Let me pray for you.
My heart is yours, but this is an adieu.
Some paths, the mind can’t see.
Silence is often better than the cross.
I call your name. Let me take my leave.
My heart is yours, but I must grieve.
Sorrow slows down the refugee.
I choose life over desire’s cruel toss.
I see your name. I do not know.
What we were, sand and sea, years ago
Was not enough to fill the abyss.
Now, wind is the only presence.
I hear your voice. I shall not judge.
You are forgiven, unconditionally.
You are treasured, in all simplicity.
Happiness, please face it passionately.
I erase your face. Let me leave without you.
My heart is yours, but this is an adieu.
Some paths, the mind can’t see.
Silence is often better than the cross.
To N.C.C.
* * * * *
MEMORY
One night, while oblivion was blinding me,
And the whole world was seemingly in debris,
A sparkling angel appeared in front of me:
“I am here to show you infinity,
And help you to smother obscurity.
Your tears, I often saw, but today,
My absolution brings a brand new day.
I heard your call and felt your distress.
I’ve loved your faith and gentleness.
Today, will you reclaim your life,
And let your essence stop want’s strife?”
Suddenly, I could breathe again;
Full understanding was my new domain.
No more pain; no more misery.
My timid inner child, embraced by beauty,
Opened its eyes and slowly stood up again.
God always dons a familiar form.
Meeting him shatters any norm.
Forgiveness is key. We must create (our mission)
A world where dreams rhyme with passion.
* * * * *
EXPLOSION
Some nights are treasured by memory.
Tucked in our minds, their stirring will ease
Painful moments and help the petrified heart
To hope and dream again.
Some days are unconceivable
For their beautiful simplicity.
And, on that Monday, the sight of you
Made me envision the end of immaturity.
And it did happen, for a little while.
Our relationship, ever-expanding creation,
Mapped balmy and fertile lands.
Today, this world is slowly imploding.
Autumn followed the joy of summer,
And winter donned its icy coat.
The sea chose to withdraw secretly,
And life and love abandoned me.
Still, some nights are treasured by memory.
Tucked in our minds, their stirring will ease
Painful moments and help the petrified heart
To hope and dream again.
* * * * *
WHO AM I
Can you hear me? I am the wind kissing the grass.
Can you see me? I am the sun radiating on high.
They call me Nature. As pure as honey, am I.
Can you feel my joyful heart, my fiery spirit?
Your scornful manners are my favorite sky.
They call me God. Fairy tales are my writ.
Inhabiting men, women, and children,
I have studied the universal pattern.
With ears attuned and soul released,
I have heard furtive stars’ love feast.
Today, I am he or she, a human being,
Whose life endures, oblivious of time.
They call me Love or Soul. I am all and nothing.
So, follow me and we shall create your sublime.
* * * * *
MY TIMID INSTANT
Was it a dream or reality playing tricks on me?
I heard leaves rustle at the touch of wind.
Your words, like tormenting daggers,
Confused my mind and shattered my heart.
Were you an illusion or was I a fool?
I watched the grass bend under the shock of time.
Your eyes, once merry, now disconcerting,
Demanded forgetfulness from my heart.
Was I too young or just too blind?
My body could not carry me anymore.
I tried to touch your trembling hand, but suddenly,
Realized that bitterness was time’s sweet folly.
And you left and took away
All the things that mattered.
I almost forgot to keep my sanity,
And sorrow destroyed my self-respect.
Today, I still miss you.
Was I too young or just a fool?
Yes, I was fool because you and I
Had been blessed and not seen it.
* * * * *
INNER JOURNEY
In the depths of human nature,
There is a quiet and harmonious place.
I found it through hateless words.
Its notes, pleasant and sweet,
Have kept the ship of my sanity afloat.
In the depths of my being,
There is a silence that stifles tears.
I heard it while trying to parade.
My heart, bewitched by its caressing warmth,
Suddenly accepted a new peace agreement.
There is an inner journey, as some call it,
Buried deep within our distant minds.
Its furtive, yet transcendent discovery,
Brings a new sense of purpose
And offers a pause and divine spark.
So, to the believers of life as a servile act,
Let me tell you this. The greatest feat
Is to embrace heartbeats and let go.
The finest gift is to reach for the stars
And keep God in sight to heal the scars.
* * * * *
FORGIVENESS
Sitting down, I looked at the picture in my hand;
In your face, I saw a tomorrow already planned.
With my fingers, I redrew your uncharted map.
Behind, the fours elements had left a dreamy gap.
Suddenly, in the midst of chaotic anger and regret,
My eyes rested on life’s book; pride was my debt.
I started flipping through the pages with fleeting desire
And saw a light at the end of the tunnel, like a ball of fire.
I heard a silent voice; God was asking me to dream
A life without anger. “Forgiveness,” echoed in a scream
And the sun, over the clear horizon, shone again.
Awake now, I loved seeing what I could attain.
This explosion of light and glee unlocked my spiritual fetters.
How many times had my vain tears drowned love’s letters?
Why had I pretended that I could love on the altar of hate?
I wish I knew but to such madness, I will no more relate.
Forgiveness teaches worthy lessons on spirit and soul
And acceptance; you cannot deny want and love as a whole.
Hell hangs around crossroads with desire and hate,
Until man, a willing slave chooses to open their gate.
* * * * *
YOUTH
Youth, can you hear the children from your blissful kingdom?
Can you see the dazzling sunrise honor their freedom?
Your bluish eyes create delightful pictures of saintdom
And your silvery voice sings hymns of silk woven.
Youth, lost in the unknown, which language do you speak?
Do you use the supernatural to impress the meek?
Your fingers have the most lyrical technique,
And your heart writes poetry gallingly oblique.
Youth, your echoes only read like violence.
Observe the wise, blinded by arrogance,
Who envy your passion and insouciance
And try to stifle your self-proclaimed difference.
Sadly, youth, paradise changes with responsibilities.
One day, judging becomes part of your abilities
And suddenly, the memory of your former adversaries
Vanishes, and in turn, you close the door to new fraternities.
* * * * *
PAGES
Life, I understand what you want from me.
Now, I can fly and fashion my own decree
While treasuring our oneness to the highest degree.
Even if I may have stumbled on some parts,
Your book is truly a master of eternity’s arts.
Love, your energy has divinely inspired me.
Reality has turned my dreams into beauty
After I was able to find freedom’s key.
Even if I may have forgotten self-affirmation,
Your pages I have read and grown to salvation.
God, experiencing your daily presence
Has turned life and love into abundance.
And my mistakes were given leave of absence.
I may have forgotten the science of self-respect,
But never Soul, for I was building a future perfect.
* * * * *
MUSIC
Music, most sublime muse.
(Magic, surreal, idealistic)
I envy your beauty and worship your looks.
(Eternal, everlasting, universal)
Music, your transcendence confuses me.
(Near, far, disconcerting)
I cherish your notes and sing your praises.
(Beauty, loyalty, religiosity)
Music, when I lose my way,
(Visions, dimensions, comprehension)
My faults you welcome in a peaceful voice.
(Infancy, memory, desire)
Music, my soul bathes in your harmony;
Your forms permeate my spirit.
And I discover abysmally sweet infinity –
And I hear poetically stirring reality.
You are like a sister by my side,
Allowing bonding with divinity.
Thank you for your simplicity.
My heart is yours for all eternity.
* * * * *
YOU ARE
You are the mystical shadow of the fiery night,
The one who gave birth to my soul’s light.
You are my shelter, my silence,
And revel in patient observation.
You are a shimmering display of sisterly love,
The steady singing voice flying like a dove.
I heard your prayer, gracefully sowed
Across the enduring creation.
You are the bosom friend of my cold winters,
The constant sunny presence born at daybreak.
The ocean guided our path, reflection of the sky
Above us, where God speaks.
For God never keeps freedom waiting.
We have tasted foods of raging spices,
Spoken tongues of dashing fire,
And loved life and its meandering simplicity.
God accompanies those who understand.
We broke through the wall of time,
Reached eternity through the sublime,
And adored the universe...
... and abandon’s immensity.
* * * * *
WHEN LOVE IS LOST (NO REGRET)
One morning, as the sun was rising,
In his soul, he felt a spiritual uprising.
All the fights and the odds, now abating,
Were very easy to forgive (surprising!).
Regrets are a thing of the past.
On that day, she had decided to slip away.
Drained, she refused judgment day.
One last time, the sight of him made her sway,
But she realized the futility of running away.
Regrets are a thing of the past.
Today, they are buried together
And their souls, scattered by the wind.
Love will never vanish; what we leave
Behind, somebody else will receive.
Since the dawn of time, love has been God’s gift:
But time flies, and men will always go adrift.
Human beings are strange indeed,
For when they walk away,
They make their hearts bleed
And turn life into disarray.
* * * * *
FLY AWAY
To all the women who have experienced the loss of their own child.
Fly away. May peace be with you.
I will not cry because, in your adieu,
Your will was done; you saved us.
You sacrificed your body, but your soul
Soared and your flame is now whole.
One day, your true beauty will shine again.
So, fly away, my darling. May God bless you.
* * * * *
ANOTHER GOD?
Heavenly bodies
on the edge of smiling dreams
do not worry so –