an actor without an audience
POETRY for ARTISTS, LOVERS & EVERYMEN
By Austin Basis
Copyright 2011 Austin Basis
Smashwords Edition
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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Table of Contents
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chapter 1:
LOVE.
________________________________________________________________
(no words)
As
I try
to put you down in words, nothing
comes to me-
That’s because no words can match the beauty
that I see.
I seek
and search
and scour
and scrub
the corners of my mind,
But, still, a word to honor
you is something I cannot
find.
So
I look to the skies
and the land
and the seas,
and all else
in this world,
But none
of it can I liken
to the nature
of this girl.
So
I beckon
to the poets
of generations past
And to the poems
that they have written-
To
lend me a line
of verse or prose on level
with her whom I’m smitten.
But never
on paper has man composed-
from the day that God made time-
Anything in the realm
of describing a woman so sublime.
So
I peruse
your picture and study
your shape
To encourage some inspiration,
But
I’m left with just my eyes, my heart; your face, your figure-
Frustration!
So I resolve to resign from this taxing task and let these words be said:
“There
are
no words to capture
you- no matter what you’ve read.
There
has
been verse and prose
inscribed, and quotes, but
none
that do
Any
justice to any
of the joy that comes from loving
you.”
So
take these
words and use them as proof
that, before you,
no one existed
That couldn’t be written
or rhymed
or spoken
or uttered
or filed
or listed.
2004
YOU
YOU
Your
smile echoing in my dreams, illuminating my heart
Your silky-soft
skin warming my nights to serenity
YOU
Your
generous, glowing eyes igniting my happiness
Your tender lips
burning my body to passion
YOU
Your
delicate hand nestled in the nook of my chest
Your nimble fingers
scratching my back to sleep
YOU
Your
sense of humor provoking my days to laughter
Your support &
encouragement filling my career with confidence
YOU
Your
raw emotions inspiring me to feel more & think less
Your
eccentricity balancing my anal-retention
YOU
Your
total beauty as innate & classical as an ivory statue in ancient
Greece
Your sensuality seducing me, reducing mankind to jealousy
YOU are so SEXY
YOU
YOU
bring me love
YOU give me joy
YOU improve my life
YOU
lift my spirit
YOU melt my soul
YOU complete my world
YOU are my BABY
YOU
& ME
Dancing into the future
TOGETHER
August 12, 2008
To NAP with YOU
To
Nap.
To Sleep.
To Dream.
Softness
between friends;
Warmth
between friends;
LOVE
between friends.
Food
for Thought,
Music for Mind,
Breath for Both.
All
Socks- No Shoes:
Ah, to LIVE in Socks!
The pulse of a foot
(awake)
Convulses/Fades
stammering slowly under my leg.
(asleep)
Dancing to the Beat of our Hearts;
Napping to the
Rhythm of our Lungs.
Symbiotic
Air.
Synergistic Sleep.
Sharing Unconsciousness
Together.
All
the world’s a Couch
And we are its Cushions!
To
Nap.
To Sleep.
To Dream…
Napping
is the communication of
The Silent Sound of Sleep:
The Drone of
Dreams
Ringing in our ears-
Feeling thoughts that can’t be
seen;
Cathartically letting
Tension
Anxiety
Stress
Strife
Melt to the floor and
Evaporate into Oblivion.
I
can NAP with NO ONE else:
YOU are my Nap-STAR!
To Feel the
Moods of Mother Nature with you;
To Experience the Emotions of the
Weather together;
To Share the Atmosphere
And Nap,
And
Nap,
And NAP.
I
Savor the moments of
Peace in your Presence.
I need your Ears
to
Hear my Soul
Sleep,
Your Soft Skin to
Sleep Safely:
To
Nap in Peace at your Place.
We
are our own Personal Pillows,
Catching each other Comfortably,
As
we Fall into Sublime Indifference.
The Soothing Sea of our
beings
Floating together between
Fantasy and Reality,
Heaven
and Earth,
Happiness and Bliss.
Solving
our Problems
Purging our Sins
Confessing our Feelings
Sharing
our Secrets
REVEALING our SOULS…
Improving our Days
Helping our Lives
Calming our Worlds
With a Touch
With a
Smile
With a Breath
With a NAP
With YOU.
February 27, 2001
The Gift
The
Gift you can’t wrap a ribbon around is a Friend’s Heart.
There
is where you find the solutions to all your problems.
The Gift is
a mirror that shows the truth in your lies;
The Gift is a hug,
when all you ask for is smile;
The Gift is there when you don’t
need it,
And gets help when you need it the most.
I
sit on a train going “home,”
When I know true comfort is with
the Friend I just left.
I find shade from the world in the hollow
of your heart.
In the true Friendship,
You always get back more
than you can possibly receive.
“The Gift that keeps on
giving”
is a six-lane, two-way highway- with traffic in both
directions.
It warms my Winter, propels my Spring,
Cools my
Summer, and catches my Fall.
The glint in your eyes gives me hope
that all my dreams will come true.
The Gift.
A
bridge that forever will be crossed;
A connection that will never
be broken;
A history that can’t be erased.
Memories that defy
the Laws of Nature by never dying-
Memories revived by a current
that flows through the electric circuit
That is our Friendship:
A
light that will never go out.
The Gift.
It
kisses you on the head- It kicks you in the ass.
It calls when
you’re alone- It’s there when you’re apart.
It cheers when
you’ve won- It listens when you’ve lost.
It pats you on the
back- It slaps you in the face.
It rocks you to sleep- It wakes
you up.
It stands behind you, It walks beside you, It runs right
through you-
Through the day, through the night.
It beats out
the rhythm of my life…
Your Heart,
Your Love,
My Gift:
Our
Friendship.
4 a.m. May 17, 2001
________________________________________________________________
chapter 2:
LIFE.
________________________________________________________________
WHO
am I?
WHY am I here?
WHO
am I
in this thing called life?
WHERE do I stand
on this
spinning sphere?
WHEN will I tick
on this eternal tock?
Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
WHO
will I be
when all is done?
WHAT is it
I am destined to
do?
WHY am I here
living with you?
…and you and you and you and you?
Tick…
Tock…
Tick… Tock…
2005
Lost in Stagnation
Floating
in a Sea of Thought
Wading in an Ocean of Questions
Waiting for
Answers.
Who
Am I?
(no answer)
Where do I belong?
(no answer)
Who
will answer my Call of Love?
(…silence)
I
am LOST
in a WORLD of STAGNATION:
Thought prevents
Action
Contemplation stifles Progress,
Ambition blindfolded by
Fear
Aspiration delayed by Scrutinization
CLOGGED.
I
am a Lonely Soul
with no one to talk to but myself
(without
actually speaking)
I’ve constructed an Imaginary Friend with
Thoughts for Arms
Fears for Feet
Questions for Hands
Secrets for Knees
with Dreams for a Heart
and the Face of a
Stranger for a Smile.
I
am lost
Wading
WAITING for a call
My Call
THE
CALL
waiting
wading
Floating on a Piece of my Last Love
a Life Vest made of Food
toward an Island made of Snores
SLEEP
But
there’s no rest in sight.
Nothing
but the Sun
Rising & Setting over the Horizon
with
nowhere to go
but ON
float on
move on
swim on
to
Solid Ground
One Stroke at a time
until
One Step at a
time
until
I Find an Answer
Until
Then:
I’m still
still
still
still
Lost in Stagnation.
1 a.m. August 11, 2004
Sitting in Myself
Every
now & then I like to
Sit in Myself
and reflect
I
sit there a lot more
now that I have time to
between work &
play
I
think it’s important
to my mental health
to my career
to my life
to my future
I
spend those moments
productively
I
sit for hours sometimes
in my car
in traffic
in my
bed
in the dark
Thinking
Weighing
Pondering
Deciding
It
helps me realize how far I’ve come
and how far I still need to
go
It
helps me accept who I am as a person
and appreciate the people
who got me here
Sitting
in Myself
is extremely fulfilling
I highly recommend it
The
cherry on the icing of a long day
The prize at the bottom of
life’s Cracker Jack box
The
burp at the end of a meal
The Amen at the end of a prayer
I
have an extremely active imagination
so this hiatus is a
necessity
But
mostly it’s thrust upon me
by the circumstances of my life
I
often find myself
home alone
in my head
no one around
to hear me speak
like now
So
I assume the position
on the La-Z-Boy in my mind
channel-surfing
through my thoughts
It’s
lonely
but it’s a good lonely
The
kind of lonely that
brings comfort
permits self-reflection
inspires creativity
motivates action
Sitting
in Myself
I am surrounded by my ideas
keeping me company
with their potential
There’s
so much to do
with silence in the air
But
even the dull roar of
the immutable cacophony
induces this
concentration
when I’m by myself
in myself
All
is calm now
All is still
All is quiet
So quiet
Sitting in Myself
I
gather
I remember
I thank
I
review
I question
I resolve
I
dream
I plan
I pray
But
really
it’s all just speculation & hope
Until I stand
up
and return to the world
12:21 a.m. April 26, 2009
I’m Scared
The
first step to being alive is admitting that you’re afraid to
live.
“I AM AFRAID TO LIVE”
I am afraid of LIFE
I’m
scared of being alone
I am not comfortable by myself
I’m not
comfortable with myself
I don’t think I’ll ever be
My life
is made better by the people around me
BUT only WHEN they are
actually around me
And even then- not always.
I’m
scared of failing
Of not being good enough
Of disappointing
people
I’m scared of losing the people in my life
Of
friendships moving away
Of my parents dying
I’m scared of
the unknown
Of never finding a soul mate
Of the intimacy
required to let that happen
Of that person walking into and out
of my life without having
the awareness, the ability, the
courage to keep her there
I’m scared of all the little things
needed to make a day, a year, a life
SUCCESSFUL
I’m scared
of never finding out who I really am
what I’m supposed to be.
I
think too much
I am constantly thinking
I’m a frustrated
philosopher
And that is SO FRUSTRATING!!!
I know that I’ll
never know all there is to know
and knowing THAT is knowing too
much.
I
see the futility of trying to do something with my life
And yet-
that’s what I’m doing
That’s ALL I “do”
But what ELSE
can I “do”?
What can anybody REALLY “DO”?
All we have
in this world is the doing
TO DO is TO BE
“What do you
do?”
Everyone always asks that
“What do you do?”
“What
have you been doing lately?”
“What are you doing now?”
Do
I always have to be doing something?!
Can’t I just live?
No.
The
answer is no
Because the laws of nature tell us we can’t
If
you look at every other species
They’re born
They mature
They procreate
They die
and somewhere in the middle they
try to just SURVIVE.
BUT
WE
The Human Race
We’re born
And before we even
mature
Society tells us how we should approach life-
What we
should do with our lives:
We go to school
We go to work
We look for love
We start a family
We have children
They have children
We die
(Other people die FIRST)
But
then WE die
We
look ahead
We look back
and then- before we know if we really
lived-
We’re dead.
That’s it.
I
try to “smell the roses”
I try
But the more time I spend
“smelling”
The more I see that it’s easier said
then
done
I
appreciate
(O, do I appreciate)
The gifts:
The friends,
The
family,
The moments-
The magic...
The GIFTS.
BUT
I
see
I see things for what they are
And I want to know
What
it’s all for…?
WHAT?
LIFE
SCARES ME
Everything about it
I am bogged down by the enormity
of what is present
in every moment, in every person, in every
thing
everywhere in the world
ALWAYS.
And
the fact that everyone else just GOES
They just seem to go
Go
on with life
And ignore the obvious.
Or
maybe they’re
OBLIVIOUS
That’s a prized existence-
To
live in oblivion…
Innocence is TRULY bliss.
Some
see, though
And they’re scared
Like me
But people keep
doing
Life goes on
Time goes by
Death approaches
Beckett
knew:
We are born
“Astride of a grave”
We are born
Into
a life of dying
With nothing to do but
THINK
and WORRY
and
FEAR all that we know about the world
and life
And all that
we may never know…
But
the slow death we call life
Doesn’t allow us the luxury of
simply “being”
Of remaining in a stagnant state of thoughtful,
neurotic fear
We must breathe
We must walk
We must go
We must do